Do It Or Don't Do It

Gaius has arrived home.

Dumped his back pack.

Gone out the back to examine his bicycle.

Wiped off a few cobwebs.

Called Vello.

Gaius! says Vello. Are you back?

Yes, says Gaius.

Well, isn't that lucky, says Vello. We're in Norwood about to order a coffee. Shall we come round?

Err, no, says Gaius. I'll meet you in Norwood. Where are you?

Buongiorno's, says Vello. What would you like?

Just a water, says Gaius.

Good. See you shortly, says Vello.

Is he coming? asks David.

Yes, he's coming, says Vello.

I'm looking forward to meeting this Gaius, says Sören Kierkegaard. Is he a philosopher?

No, says Vello. He isn't. He's a natural historian. He's been on Bruny Island, spotting difficult birds.

Ten minutes later the natural historian arrives.

Greetings, all, says Gaius. Excuse the cobwebs.

I don't see any cobwebs, says Vello.

Yes, look there, says David. Cobwebs on his back spokes.

I got most of them, says Gaius. I could have spent longer, but didn't.

Do it or don't do it, says Kierkegaard. You will regret both.

That's a fine saying, says Gaius.

It's idiotic, says Vello.

It's one of my best ones, says Sören.

It suits a number of circumstances, says David.

Sören looks grateful.

Indeed, says Gaius. Well, what's our race plan?

Now that you're here, says Vello, we thought you might go with Sören and do Willy Hill.

Certainly, says Gaius. And what will you do?

Wait for your report on his strengths and weaknesses, says Vello. I also have an article to finish. Sweezus didn't learn much when he interviewed Sören.

I thought it best to be cagey, says Sören.

Probably was, says Vello. Anyway, I'll be making the rest of it up.

Gaius looks at Sören.

Surely a philospher of such standing will not allow a fellow philosopher of equal standing to make anything up in that manner?

But Sören seems unperturbed.

Gaius swallows his water.

Shall we go then? asks Gaius. I for one resolve not to regret it

Ha ha, laughs Sören.