The Perfect Balloon

That was sudden, says Gaius.

It was, says Kierkegaard. I was splattered. And Lauren had not finished.

Perhaps I'd done enough, says Lauren. Your board rash is disappearing.

Kierkegaard looks down at his tummy.

I see what has happened, says Victor. The fish has jumped out of the  jam jar.

So it has, says Gaius.

My fish! says Terence. It wants to go home.

And where might that be? asks Victor.

The sea, says Terence.

Victor looks suspicious.

It's gasping, says Lauren, picking up the small fish (unlucky).

Don't put it back in! says Terence. It hates it.

The small fish (unlucky) speaks up.

That's right. I hate it. Let me go back to the sea.

Of course you must go back, says Gaius. I apologise for leaving you behind in the jam jar. I was preoccupied with my crabs.

Yes, says Kierkegaard. We were going to discuss the crabs further.

Indeed, says Gaius.

He places the red salad bowl on the table.

Here's Alexander-Groovy, our one remaining subject. Apart from Red-Hook, the control crab.

Where's my bowl? asks Alexander-Red-Hook. Did you bring it?

Gaius strikes his own forehead. Drat! No! It's still down on the beach.

I'll text Belle, says Lauren.

Don't bother, says Alexander-Red-Hook. My bowl holds bad memories.

How can a bowl hold bad memories? asks Terence.

Bad memories for ME, says Alexander Red Hook. Alexander-Yellowsun and I were happy in our breakfast bowls. Then poof! our happiness crumbled.

Like a biscuit, says Terence.

Sort of, agrees Alexander-Red-Hook.

Would you prefer to live in my jam jar? asks the small fish (unlucky). It's vacant. I'm going back to the sea.

She WOULDN'T! says Terence. She's going to be my new parrot.

It's the first Alexander-Red-Hook has heard of it.

Ha ha! laughs Gaius. She can no more be a parrot than a balloon!

Ha ha! laughs Kierkegaard, picturing a crab as a balloon. And then a parrot as a balloon. And then a balloon as a parrot. And a crab as.....there's no end to it, really.

I had a parrot balloon, says Terence. It was perfect until someone burst it.

Yourself, as I recall, says Gaius.

It was an accident, says Terence.

I suppose it couldn't fly, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

You suppose right, says Gaius.

Do you REALLY want me to be your new parrot? asks Alexander-Red-Hook.

YES! cries Terence.

I like a challenge, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

Wait! says Gaius. You are contracted to me!

But surely the experiment is over, says Alexander-Red-Hook. It's now down to just Groovy and me. He's bound to die first. Experiment over.

That is my opinion, says Kierkegaard.

I shall have to think further, says Gaius.

He thinks further. Perhaps a phone call to that PhD candidate in America whose report in Science News inspired him.

Yes, he will seek her opinion.