The VeloDrone on Candide

Greetings my friends. The VeloDrone, aka Voltaire, here once again to amuse you with some philosophical ramblings from the velosophere!

Nihilism is a pet subject of mine. No doubt you all remember Candide! No, not my famous novel, but my famous bicycle of the same name.

Ah Candide! She was a nihilist for sure. Not a Moral Nihilist. No, no. She had very strict opinions about right and wrong. It was wrong for me to ride her when she had a flat tyre for instance. It was wrong to ride her when it was raining. Fortunately we generally agreed on these matters.

Nor was she an Existential Nihilist. She knew that she existed. My wheels turn, she would say, therefore I am. What about when your wheels stop turning, Candide? I would ask. That simply means I have halted, she would say. I could not argue with that, especially when we stopped at the traffic lights.

Was she then an Epistemological Nihilist? I doubt she even knew the meaning of the term. This is perhaps a little amusing, as it means the denial of all knowledge. But one should not laugh at la belle Candide, if one does not know the meaning of it oneself.

As to being a Metaphysical Nihilist, and believing that no objects might exist at all, no, no, my Candide was well aware of the existence of other objects. Did she not most frequently encounter them on the road? And she could hardly deny the all too solid existence of myself.

Candide was, I believe, that most rare form of nihilist, the Mereological Nihilist. That is, she denied the existence of proper parts, particularly in regard to herself. She would never admit to needing anything new, be it a new tyre, a new chain, even a touch of oil. Her brakes were a screeching disaster. And she soon became a patched-up bucket of rust. Gradually she ceased to function as a bicycle, but did she care? No. She now spends her days, as we say, cultivating my garden.

That's all from me for this week! Next week, Le Bon David will take up his pen for your entertainment. Au revoir, mes amis!