What's It All About?

The phone rang. Belle et Bonne answered. It was Samuel Beckett.

Have you received the second part of my story? he asked.

Yes, said Belle et Bonne, but I must tell you that someone here is not pleased with it.

Your papa? asked Samuel Beckett, sounding surprised.

No, our friend Simone, said Belle et Bonne.

How can that be? It isn't published, is it?

It is, at least the first half is, and she has read the second. Would you like to speak to her?

No. I'll be there in five minutes! said Beckett.

Five minutes later he popped his head round the door.

Simone! he cried. I am sorry!

Samuel, said Simone, it's just too bad of you.

How can I make amends? asked Beckett.

You can re-write the second part, said Simone firmly. I strongly object to several things in it.
The first one being that I am readily identifiable by the description of my hat.

I shall change the hat, said Samuel. How would you like me to describe it?

I should like you not to describe it at all, said Simone, crossly.

The hat remains, for literary reasons, said Beckett. But I am willing to change its colour, and its shape.

Simone looked perplexed.

I know! said Belle et Bonne. You could make the hat orange. I always thought it would be nicer orange, she added.

Good gracious, why? asked Simone.

Because you wore it on the cover of The Mandarins, said Belle et Bonne.

That's good, said Samuel Beckett.

You are not thinking of describing it in terms of the fruit, I hope, said Simone.

What does it matter, if it is not your hat? asked Beckett.

Yes, chimed in The VeloDrone. Don't forget that it's no longer your hat.

If it's not mine, said Simone, then what is this all about?