Lets We Forget

Generally my pineapples are a conservative lot. Imagine my surprise when I saw this week's pineapple turn up for his photo shoot with a paper medal bearing the words LETS WE FORGET.

What's this, Pineapple? I said. Can't you spell?

Course I can, said Pineapple flippantly. I'm protesting that's all.

What do you have to protest about? I asked.

All this Remembrancing, said the Pineapple. Remembrancing the War. All this Gratitude. We Pineapples are sick of it.

Don't you feel grateful to the soldiers who sacrificed their lives so that you could be free? I asked, astonished.

No, said the Pineapple. We're Pineapples, what freedom have we got? We always end up getting eaten.

That's quite true, I admitted. I hadn't thought of that. But at least you enjoy free and fair elections.

The Pineapple was taken aback.

That's not much, he muttered.

And you can join a local library and borrow books for nothing, I persisted. I remember a colleague of yours, the Intellectual Pineapple, who was very taken with the novels of Victor Hugo.

Hmm, said the Pineapple. Was he?

Yes, I said. He was a very soft-hearted Pineapple. I was fond of him.

Are you fond of me? asked the Pineapple.

It's harder to become fond of a Politically Incorrect Pineapple, I said.

What if, said the Politically Incorrect Pineapple, I was to say that I couldn't spell?