New Directions In Philosophy: Legs To Banana

George Santayana lies on a beach towel, facing the water.

Looking at legs.

Some legs walk this way, some that. Some run into the sea.

This is Spain not America. But these days what's the difference? Everywhere you see legs.

Can you be sure though? That what you are seeing is real?

He stares hard at the legs until they join at the horizon, a gigantic blue centipede, paddling.

He sits up in a panic.

Four female legs have loomed up before him.

Belle et Bonne! cries Vello. And Marie!

Hi! says Belle et Bonne. Is this the Spanish Philosophers' Conference?

Yes, says Vello. This is José Ortega y Gasett and George Santayana.

How's it going? asks Marie. Come to any conclusions? New directions?

We have been neglecting philosophy, says Vello. Due to a contretemps with Ageless. He has let us down badly.

I knew it! says Belle. He didn't write anything.

He wrote wonderful things, says Ortega y Gasset, remembering the moon and the whirlpool. He conflated a bicycle through the magical medium of metaphor.

He did NOT! says David quite sharply. You are far too Spanish.

Then I too am too Spanish, says George Santayana hotly. I also detected the bicycle.

Marie looks at the two Spanish philosophers. In identical hats. Suave-looking, with interesting moustaches. High foreheads. Retaining a discernible degree of old-man-style Spanish hotness.

How would you guys like to come down the coast for some banana boating? asks Marie, on an impulse.

Yes, says Belle et Bonne. Sounds like you've done enough conferencing. Would you?

Vello and David wonder if they are included in the invitation. It rather depends on the circunstancia.

Banana boating, says George. This is new to me. Is it a boat for carrying bananas or some sort of metaphor?

It's pulled by a jet ski, says Belle. You sit on it. It's inflatable. It's long and yellow, and super fun.

Who could resist such a metaphor? An inflatable super fun banana

Vello plucks at the shorts of Marie. (He is sitting on a towel, she is standing. It's what anyone would do, in the circumstances, even your uncle).

What? says Marie.

He wants to know if it's a date thing, says Belle et Bonne.

A date thing, says Vello. That is not quite how I would have put it, but is it a date thing?

Marie looks at George Santayana and José Ortega y Gasset, to see whether it is date thing.

And yes! There is evidence to show that it is.