She Has An Opinion On Everything

A fellow philosopher! says Vello. Did you meet while you were out shopping?

Why suggest that? asks Maria Goyri de Menendez Pidal, looking fierce and combative.

Only because our friend Schopenhauer has been shopping, says Vello smoothly. And when he left us he was not attached to a woman.

Typical, says Maria Goyri de Menendez Pidal, looking only slightly mollified.

Did you find what you were looking for? asks David, thinking he is changing the subject.

Maria Goyri turns red.

Yes, says Schopenhauer, assuming correctly that David means not a female philosopher, but cowboy boots.

Schopenhauer sits down at their table. He lifts up his feet.

Corbeto's Boots, says Schopenhauer. Finest Spanish leather. Hand tooled. Maria was there, looking for a holster.

Maria Goyri looks happy at this.

The first thing that has been said which has not, in her opinion, been sexist.

A holster? says David.

Maria Goyri looks angry again.

Sit down Maria, says Schopenhauer. Have a mojito.

Yes yes, indeed, says David. Are you, like us, here for the Spanish philosophers' conference?

So you are philosophers too, says Maria Goyri de Menendez Pidal. What field do you work in?

These days David and I publish an online magazine, says Vello. You may have heard of Velosophy?

Oh yes, says Maria Goyri. I have a doctorate in Philosophy and Letters. So I have a natural interest in popular culture. I admire your magazine. I particularly enjoyed your latest article on Marine Philosophy. Although I'm damned if I could find a single concrete reference to a bicycle anywhere in it.

Ah madam, you are very perceptive , says Vello. That article, wondrous as it is, slipped though the cracks while David and I were busy with this conference. There is no reference to a bicycle in it.

I thought, says Maria Goyri, that perhaps the moon and the whirlpool.....? Metaphorically speaking.

It is evident that your consciousness is Spanish, says David. That's just what George and José said. We contested it hotly of course.

Schopenhauer is not pleased with the lack of attention he is receiving.

He waggles his boots.

He tinkles his nail on the glass of his mojito. Ding ding ding ding.

He says loudly. Bicycles eh?

Not what they used to be, are they, says Maria Goyri. As our poor dear Alberto Contador found out. They are so light nowadays. Carbon fibre doesn't bend in a crash, often it shatters, hurling riders to the road and increasing the severity of their injuries.

Hah! Let them realise. Maria Goyri de Menendez Pidal is no lightweight and has an opinion on everything.