Love The Lizards

At Best and Menta, looking for shorts:

Maria Goyri: Do you have any very small beach shorts, for less than two euro?

Assistant: Why yes! I'm sure we do.

(she flicks through the racks of second hand children's clothing).

Assistant: How about these?

Belle: How lovely! Do you like them, baby?

Baby: I want ones with tigers, or skulls.

Assistant: These have cute little geckos, all different colours. See? Pink, yellow and blue.

Baby: Pink ones! That's girly.

Marie: For goodness sake. He's young to be so opinionated!

Belle: But look, baby, the background is blue. And Sweezus loves geckoes.

Baby: No he doesn't.

Maria Goyri: Come on. We don't have all day. Get that nappy off.

Baby (outraged): It's not a nappy. And it doesn't come off.

Maria Goyri: Pull them on over the top then.

( you can see she's a mother)

Baby (now wearing the blue shorts with pink and yellow geckoes): I look like a girl.

Maria Goyri: What does that matter? How much are they?

Assistant: One euro ninety nine.

Maria Goyri: We'll take them.

Assistant: Anything else I can help you with?

Baby: Any stinky yellow bandages?

Assistant: Err, no.

At Cafe-Bar Bicicleta, the philosophers are hard at it.

Vello: And you call yourself a pragmatist!

George Santayana: I do. There's a difference between practical and philosophical pragmatism.

Vello: Do tell.

George Santayana: Maria Goyri is a practical person, whereas I am a thinker.

Vello: And what do you think about, as a pragmatist?

George Santayana: I think about the practical effects of the object of my conception.

Vello: Let's say the object of your conception is baby Terence. What are his practical effects?

Fortuitously, at this moment, in comes baby Terence, sporting his new gecko shorts. He is in the arms of the redoubtable Maria Goyri. She plops him down.

Sweezus: Woah! Radical shorts, man! Love the lizards.

Baby Terence: They're geckos.

Sweezus: Yeah geckos, whatever.

David: Very nice. And I suppose he'll grow into them.

Baby Terence: I knew they were too big. I'm taking them off!

(he starts pulling them off).

Belle (inspirationally): No! Roll them up. Show your knees, like the big boys.

( she does it for him )

Baby Terence: Good. Now for my haircut.....

Sweezus: Chill out, Terence.

Baby Terence: Did I hear that? Did you call me Terence?