Practical Advice To Famous Girls

I don't want to be Terence, says Baby Terence. My name's Baby Jesus.

Every tenth Spaniard is called Jesus, says Ortega y Gasset.

Not BABY Jesus, says Baby Terence.

Terence is famous, says Arthur. Terence was an ancient Roman playwright. A freed African slave.

Did he live in a palace? says Baby Terence. Did he have his own parrot?

After they freed him, and he wrote famous plays, he could have whatever he wanted, says Arthur.

All right, says Baby Terence. The first thing I want is a haircut.

That might be difficult, says Schopenhauer.

Schopenhauer is right. Terence's curls look too fragile

But that's not the reason.

The reason is............they are made of cement.

Yeah, like we can just find you a stonemason, says Sweezus.

Now you've upset him, says Belle.

I'll find you a haircut, says Arthur. Coming?

And pirate knee bandages? says Baby Terence.

Sure, says Arthur. Come on.

He picks up Baby Terence and walks out of Bar-Cafe Bicicleta, before anyone can stop him.

What's got into Arthur? says David. It's not like him to volunteer for a kindness.

Perhaps he's not planning a kindness, says Vello.

Should someone do something? says Belle.

Not I, says Maria Goyri. I have my own children to consider. I really should be going. Ramon will be tearing his hair.

Bye bye, Maria Goyri, says Belle. You were an inspiration.

Yes, you're amazing, says Marie.

Thank you, dears, says Maria Goyri. It was a pleasure to meet the famous girls. Don't forget to get that skirt mended, Belle. Safety pins can pop open. And always be wary of whoever's sitting behind you.

I know! says Belle. It's already popped open. But I didn't think Arthur.....

What did he do? asks Vello.

Belle won't say.

And I have Arthur's bicycle, says Maria Goyri. But I need it to get home on.

Allow me to accompany you home, says José Ortega y Gasset. I shall wheel Arthur's bicycle back here afterwards. Meanwhile George can stay here and go on explaining his version of pragmatism.

Is that a DIG at me, old chap? says George Santayana. And may I ask how you expect to manage two bicycles on your return journey?

Fiddle! says Maria Goyri. He can leave his own bicycle here and get on behind me. It's not as though a respectable philosopher will  bite a hole in the back of my skirt.

Vello looks sharply at Belle, who wriggles uncomfortably.