The Virtues Of Water And Light

Freud opens the caravan door to the mayor, Stephen Yarwood.

What's going on? says the mayor. A pigeon just sprayed me.

Must happen quite often, says Freud.

With paint! says Stephen Yarwood. I spilled all my coffee.

Freud steps outside.

Ah! says Freud. This is what I knew would happen. You must be pleased.

What? says the mayor. Mayhem and paint spots? A blue fountain?. We've just got it going, you know.

Look at the crowd that has gathered, says Freud.

Holy moly! says Stephen Yarwood. That is a surprise. This square is usually empty. Except for odd protests of course.

They stroll over the central roadway to Three Rivers Fountain at the southern end of the square, where Kong Fu-Zi is addressing a crowd on the Virtues of Water.

This has all come about in five minutes.

Kong Fu-Zi, contemplating the water, which was blue-green, the colour of spring, had felt a compulsion to teach.

He had taken his hat off. He had turned to the skate boarder nearest him and begun:

A Lesson on the Virtues of Water.

Water moves continuously forward without stopping. It irrigates everything, yet does not regard itself as outstanding. It is like virtue.

The skateboarder (Dogman) is moved.

Sick ! says Dogman.

Another skateboarder comes up.

Kong Fu-Zi, encouraged, continues:

Water flows in high and low places. It follows one principle. It is like justice.

The second skateboarder (Vansy) is stoked.

Dope! says Vansy.

I hope they turn this fountain off in the summer, adds Vansy. That would be, like, proper justice.

I reckon, says Dogman. Then we could skate through the middle.

Several more people have stopped.

Water dashes forward without fear, says Kong -Fu-Zi. It is like courage.

Well said, says a man, who is no doubt some sort of developer.

It is always self-leveling, says Kong Fu-Zi. It is like the Law.

The mayor hears this last bit.

He is impressed. This sort of thing should be encouraged.

........

Gaius too has attracted a crowd.

What is he talking about?

Iridescence.

As you see, says Gaius. There is no need for paint. A pigeon has its own iridescence, pink and shimmering green. Nor is this due to the presence of oils, but to structural colour. The feathers are a tilted lattice work of tiny threads of pigmented material......

Why were you trying to squirt it with paint? asks a punter.

I missed, deliberately, says Gaius. It was merely a game.

The crowd are satisfied with this explanation.

Gaius goes on to explain the interference effect of the light waves.

.......

The crowd round the Parrot is the largest.

This Parrot, which has just come into being, was once a drab pigeon.

Look at it now. Multicoloured, iridescent. All hail the Parrot!

Will it speak?

Hush.

The Parrot opens its beak.

But then.....

Light waves bounce down from the sun and interfere with his threads.

He disappears totally.

Wo! Amazeballs!