When Did You Stop Liking Birds?

Arthur strides quickly, with Baby Terence in his backpack.

Where are we going? cries Terence.

Arthur doesn't reply. He is not bent on kindness.

He crosses the road to the Sagrada Familia, and stops below the tableau.

The Saint Joseph, the Virgin, the Parrot.

He swings the backpack around and drops it. Ooh!  Ow!

I thought I was getting a haircut, says Baby Terence. This is my palace.

Yes, says Arthur. I've brought you back. Get out of my backpack.

Can't, says Baby Terence.

Arthur yanks him out. Sets him down on the pavement.

The Parrot flies down.

(it's really a pigeon)

Back are we? squawks the Parrot. Come on then.

No, says Baby Terence. I'm not coming. Look at me. See these shorts?

Your dad will go mental, says the Parrot.

Take HIM! says Baby Terence.

Who? says the Parrot.

Him, says Baby Terence, pointing at the backpack.

And who is inside?

Astroboy, the toy version.

Woop! says the Parrot. My favourite cartoon character! All right!

He seizes Astroboy by the sharp plastic tuft.

It's so sharp and shiny, he can't get a grip. Astroboy slips from the beak of the Parrot and lies on the pavement.

The Virgin looks down.

Look dear, says the Virgin. Our baby.

Saint Joseph stiffens. He was quite content with the Parrot.

That's the sort of haircut I wanted, says Baby Terence, not noticing what's happening above him.

You've got the wrong kind of head, says Arthur. Go back to your family.

What if I don't have the haircut? says Baby Terence.

You'll still be a pain, says Arthur. Always demanding attention. Contradicting.

I don't, says Baby Terence. When was I contradicting?

You said Sweezus likes birds, says Arthur. He doesn't.

What? says the Parrot. When you say Sweezus, do you mean the big version? The one who was here earlier?

Yes, says Arthur. Chew on that, pigeon.

Well I'm disappointed, says the Parrot. I feel I can never again act as his stand-in.

He looks up.

Saint Joseph looks down.

Saint Joseph reaches for his shepherd's crook. (Odd, since he isn't a shepherd).

The crook swoops down and scoops up, by the neck, not Baby Terence, not the Parrot.... but Astroboy, the toy version.

Astroboy ascends to the lap of the Virgin, and the family he has always dreamed of.

A silent child, who will never grow older. Saint Joseph is happy. The Virgin is happy.

And Arthur is stuck with the Parrot.