Life Lessons In Three Takes

David Hume, Katherine (his mother), and Kong Fu-Zi leave the theatre, having just seen a performance of Ibsen In One Take.

What did you think? asks Kong Fu-Zi.

Very good, says Katherine. A play and a film all in one. You could compare the two different modes of storytelling.

As long as you could keep up with the subtitles, says David.

You're a smart chap, says his mother. I'm sure you could.

Of course I could, says David.

I didn't need to, says Kong Fu-Zi. But what did you think of the themes? What struck you particularly?

How alone we all are, in the end, says David.

The mother was nice, says Katherine.

David looks up at the twinkling night sky, thinking: Apricot jam.

They keep walking.

Suddenly two children appear on the path in front of them.

Excuse me, says the girl, can you give us two dollars fifty?

For the bus, says the boy.

Katherine rummages in her handbag. Finds a few coins and hands them over. Enough for two bus fares.

The children thank her politely.

This really happens. It's not even part of the story.

.........

Next morning Kong Fu-Zi borrows Schopenhauer's bicycle, to go riding with David.

Here they are now, riding through the park lands.

David: How do you find it?

Kong Fu-Zi ( wobbling) : Very easy. I shall master it in no time.

David: Watch out!

Schopenhauer (appearing from behind a large gum tree): Sorry! Didn't see you there!

David: What are you doing here? Whose is that bicycle?

Schopenhauer: It's Sweezus's bicycle. He lent it to me.

David: How pleasant. We can all ride together

They ride on companionably.

David: What's Sweezus doing today? Don't tell me he's back in the office.

Schopenhauer: No, no. He's taking Terence to a bird sanctuary.

David: But Sweezus hates birds.

Schopenhauer: He hopes something unpleasant will happen. So Terence will learn to hate birds.

Kong Fu-Zi: This does not seem a right way to proceed.

David: No, no, it's fine. It leads straight to the coast.

Kong Fu-Zi:  I meant the bird lesson, not the trail.

Schopenhauer: I agree. Sweezus is hopeless at lessons. He'll never teach anyone anything.

Kong Fu-Zi: Perhaps we should help him.

David: Watch your head!

Kong Fu-Zi ( wobbling to a halt) : My hat came off! What happened?

David : It's magpie season. They swoop when they feel their eggs are endangered.

Kong Fu-Zi: Quite understandable. Please wait while I pick up my hat.

......

At the Bird Sanctuary (Cleland):

Terence: I want to feed them!

Sweezus: Here, hold out these breadcrumbs. No, hand flat out, like this.

Terence: Here, birdies!

Sweezus: I'll just stand by the revolving door and watch you.

Terence: Look, it's sitting on my shoulder. Nice birdie..... have some crumbums.

Sweezus: Don't say crumbums. It's rude.

Terence: Crumbums, crumbums, crumbums! Look, this birdie loves me!........Oh-oh!.......Poor little birdie!