Problem Solving For Analysts And Naturalists

Kuitpo Forest.

Problem is, how to get there with the caravan.

How did you get here? asks Gaius.

I didn't , says Freud. I bought it from some young people whose Popup food business was failing.

Perhaps you can swap it for one with a motor, says Gaius.

Freud steps outside.

Gaius gets out his smartphone and looks at some maps.

Aha, says Gaius. We can cycle to Kuitpo via the Southern-Expressway-Bikeway.

That doesn't sound very scenic, says Kong Fu-Zi. I was hoping for mountains.

Gaius looks for an alternative route that has mountains.

If you wish we can ride through the hills via Crafers, Echunga and Meadows, he says.

I should like that, says Kong Fu-Zi. Shall we set off at once?

No, says Gaius, alarmed at the prospect of travelling with someone who does not make adequate preparations.

Why not? says Kong Fu-Zi. With coarse rice to eat, water to drink and my arm for a pillow, I have joy in the midst of these things.

Water? Rice? says Gaius. Do you think these things just pop up out of nowhere? We must go home and pack for the journey. I need my notebooks and pencils as well. And a bird book.

If you say so, says Kong Fu-Zi.

Freud steps back inside.

Done, says Freud. I have swapped the caravan for a van with a motor. Everyone out!

.........

The next morning, at Gaius's house.

Gaius is packing.

To pass the time Kong Fu-Zi picks paint spots from the Platonic Ideal.

At the fourth or fifth spot it occurs to him that it isn't his bicycle.

He goes into the bedroom.

Gaius looks up from his task.

A floating cloud, says Kong Fu-Zi.

Yes? says Gaius. What about it?

Riches and honours acquired by unrighteousness are to me as....... Kong Fu-Zi stops.

A floating cloud! says Gaius. That is wonderfully put, but what is the relevance?

You don't think there is a relevance? says Kong Fu-Zi.

No, says Gaius. Now where is that knife? I bet Arthur still has it. I must call him....

tap tap tap tap... Ring Ring.

There is no answer from Arthur.

My right hand man, explains Gaius.

Kong Fu-Zi is surprised, having met Arthur briefly.

I shall act in his place, says Kong Fu-Zi.  Right hand man. How hard can it be?

Thank you, says Gaius. I think we shall get on admirably. Could you go out and find me a knife?

All right, says the Great Sage.

He puts his big pointed hat on, and sallies outside, feeling mildly excited.