Identity And What It Boils Down To

Sweezus and Arthur have gone.

Kong Fu-Zi is left with the baby. Also the parrot.

Sit still and be silent, says Kong Fu -Zi. I'm composing.

A tune? asks the parrot.

An article, says Kong Fu-Zi. Hmm hmm hmm.....

That sounds like a tune, says the parrot.

Shut up parrot, says Terence. He's our dad now.

Pah! says the parrot.

Kong Fu-Zi tries to ignore them. He composes his thoughts.

"The secret of riding a bicycle appears to be balance. It is best done in threes. As the wind blows, the grass bends....."

Terence looks over Kong Fu-Zi's shoulder ( having first scrambled onto the table).

He sees what Kong Fu-Zi has been typing.

That's really good, says Terence. Really really good. As the wind blows, the grass bends. Like that, parrot?

Grass looks different to parrots, says the parrot. So does wind.

He is saved from having to explain this, ( which he couldn't), by a knock on the door, a real one this time.

Knock knock! It's Gaius.

Oh, hello, says Gaius. I'm looking for Arthur. But I seem to have missed him again.

The young man who delivered the parrot? says Kong Fu-Zi. He's only just left. I'm surprised you didn't bump into him. He went off with Sweezus.

Thick as thieves, no doubt, says Gaius. And I should point out, that's not a parrot.

Oh? says Kong Fu-Zi, looking hard at the parrot. Why does everyone call it a parrot?

It's my Parrot, says Terence. From Spain.

That doesn't make it a parrot, says Gaius.

Are you an expert? says Terence.

I like to think so, says Gaius. I am Gaius Plinius Secundus, natural historian. And that is a pigeon.

I have never denied it, says the parrot.

Kong Fu-Zi is not pleased with the deception.

He makes a long winded remark, to the effect that the values of society are reflected in incorrect usage of language, and that moral education is the means by which to restore them.

I heartily agree, says Gaius. Call a pigeon a pigeon. A parrot a parrot. Then you know where you are.

Allow me to introduce myself, I am Kong Fu-Zi, says Kong Fu-Zi. Also known as Master Kong, or Confucius.

One name does not suffice? says Gaius.

Aha. You have got me, says Kong Fu-Zi. And if I'm not mistaken, you are Pliny The Elder?

And you have got me, says Gaius.

These names are not deceptions however, says Kong Fu-Zi, looking at Terence. They are legitimate titles.

Like mine, says Terence. Baby Jesus, Prince of Peas, Terence.

Terence? says Gaius. How  interesting! Terence was a playwright of the Roman Republic. Publius Terentius Afer. Of North African descent. A freed slave. Very clever......

Did he like birds? asks Terence.

(Oh! Why does everything boil down to this?).