The Wise And The Virtuous

Tea ceremony takes a long time.

Is it ready yet? asks David hopefully.

Kong Fu-Zi looks surprised.

At last the tea is ready.

Now then, says Vello. What's this about horses?

Nothing, says Kong Fu-Zi. The lobsters have confused you, as might be expected. I shall explain in due course.

He sips his tea slowly.

Ahh! says Kong Fi-Zi. Very nice. Now, what do you wish to ask me?

Nothing, says Vello. You came to us for advice.

Sorry, says Kong Fu-Zi. I am not used to seeking advice. However, I have come to seek yours. You are known for moving with the times. I believe you publish an online magazine.

Yes, yes, says Vello. We do move with the times. The first thing I would advise you to do is buy teabags. Much quicker.

Tea bags, says Kong Fu-Zi. Let me write that down.

He writes it down.

T
E
A
B
A
G
S.

Now, says Kong Fu-Zi. You may know that I have been invited to give an oration at your local OzAsia festival.

Vello nods, giving the impression he may well have known it.

However, says Kong Fu-Zi, I have a feeling some of my ideas have become outdated, and I should like to run them past you eminent thinkers, the great Voltaire and the good David Hume.

And the.......and myself, Schopenhauer, obviously, says Schopenhauer, too modest to choose his own adjective.

Is that who you are? says Kong Fu-Zi. My apologies. I took you for an acolyte, when you used some of my titles.

Apology accepted, Extremely Laudable Lord Ni, says Schopenhauer. Throw us an idea.

Kong Fu-Zi adjusts his pointed hat and clears his throat gently.

This is one I've always liked, but about which I am currently uncertain, he says.

Spit it out man, says Vello. We're all philosophers here.

Except for us lobsters, mutters Ageless to Louttit. We might as well wash up the teacups.

Louttit looks sour.

Kong Fu-Zi speaks: The wise find pleasure in water, the virtuous in hills; the wise are active, the virtuous tranquil; the wise are joyful, the virtuous long lived.

There is a long silence, while the philosophers grapple with the complexity of this fine piece of Confucian wisdom.