Four Disappointments

Next morning there is a rehearsal in the Velosophy office.

Now then Ray, says Vello, I hope you've learned your lines.

No one's given me a script, says Ray.

There is no script, says Vello. It's a novel.

Here's a copy, says David, handing Ray a much-thumbed Classic Penguin.

For goodness sake! says Ray.

What's wrong? says Rosamunda.

Not much dialogue in it, says Ray.

First disappointment, says Vello. Do your best.

......

A little later on.

Ray is in a corner, muttering to himself and reading.

Vello drums his fingers. David opens his mail.

Rosamunda pins padding into an elaborate costume.

Belle et Bonne enters with a tray of chocolate biscuits.

How's it going? asks Belle et Bonne. Anyone like a biscuit?

There's a hold up, says Vello, taking two biscuits. Ray hasn't learnt his lines.

Poor Ray, says Belle et Bonne. I'll help you. I'll play Cunégonde.

She pulls a tissue lightly from a box of Aloe Vera tissues, and drops it in front of Ray.

Ray looks confused.

Pick it up, says Rosamunda. Give it back to her and kiss her.

Ray picks up the tissue. Belle puckers up.

(Their lips meet, their eyes flash, their knees tremble, and their hands can not keep still).

Very good! says Rosamunda. Now David. You're her dad, the Baron. Kick Ray on the backside.

David has played the Baron many times before. It's his favourite part. He kicks Ray powerfully on the backside.

It doesn't even feel like acting.

Second disappointment, says Vello. Well done, Ray.

Ray looks disappointed, without even acting.

Belle et Bonne pretends to faint, while Vello takes another chocolate biscuit.

Sweezus enters, having eaten a late breakfast. Where's Terence?

They were KISSING, says Terence, emerging from under the costume.

Oh Terence! says Rosamunda. I didn't know that you were there!

SEE! says Terence. I could be in it, couldn't I.

No you couldn't, snaps Ray. It's hard enough acting, without a little smart-arse popping out from under costumes.

Ray! cries Rosamunda. Stay in character!

Third disappointment, says Vello. This is shaping up quite well.

I'm glad you think so, says Ray. But if he doesn't go, I'm going.

You do go, says Rosamunda. You don't even get to say goodbye. You get captured by Bulgars.

Ray gets up to leave. Terence is grinning.

Can I be him ? asks Terence.

You're way too small, says Rosamunda, but you could play Doctor Pangloss.

What! says Vello. I always play Doctor Pangloss!

Fourth disappointment, says Rosamunda.

She shakes out the costume.

The padding is twisted up and bunched around one side. Has Terence got back in it?

Vello ponders the situation.

If he doesn't play Doctor Pangloss, he can pursue his other obligations. All is for the best then.

Except ...... who'll play Candide?