They Are Partly Human As I Am Partly Spanish

Ladies with monkeys as lovers!

Margaret is not convinced the intention is comic.

I refuse to continue until the matter is resolved, says Margaret. What are the writer's intentions?

You're right, Margaret, says Ray. As a man of the cloth, I too have reservations.

I forgot you were a pastor, says Margaret. Will that make any difference to our ...um...arrangement?

Of course not, says Ray. I'm not Catholic, I'm Church of New Life.

Margaret does not look any happier.

What now? says Gaius. Shall we waste time? Shall we wait and ask Vello his intentions?

Let's think about it, says Rosamunda. Margaret, what exactly are your objections?

I'm not a prude, says Margaret. My objection is that there may be an underlying racist agenda.

It may be all in your head, says Rosamunda. Look here. She points to a page in the novel.

"Why should you find it so strange that in some parts of the world monkeys obtain ladies' favours? They are partly human, just as I am partly Spanish".

Those are my lines! says Gaius. Dear me. Is my character partly Spanish? I fear I have some reservations......

Don't be an idiot! snaps Margaret.

I'm Spanish! says Terence. What wrong with being Spanish?

Nothing, says Katherine. It's very nice. You have tapas.

I HAVE to be Spanish, says Terence.

That's my point, says Gaius. Reductio ad absurdam.

That's Spanish, says Terence.

It's Latin, says Gaius. I should have thought you would know that, with your background.

I don't have a background, says Terence.

Vello breezes in, unaware of the current controversy.

How goes the rehearsal? asks Vello. What's this? Why is everyone slacking?

Just a slight hiccup, says Rosamunda. Lucky you turned up. Is the monkeys and ladies thing racist?

I prefer to call it satirical, says Vello. I wrote this one hundred years before Darwin. I am having a dig at that fool Rousseau, with his ridiculous ideas about getting back to nature.

At this everyone is satisfied, even Margaret. How silly, to get back to nature.

The rehearsal continues. The two ladies, whose monkey lovers have been murdered, now play a dirty trick on Candide and Cacambo, who find themselves trussed up by the tribe of Oreillons and about to be eaten.

Margaret, says Rosamunda, I don't suppose you'd want to play one of the ladies? You have to be naked.

I'd rather not, says Margaret. I'll be an Oreillon.

I'll be a lady! cries Terence, ripping his shorts off.