A Tale Of Three Mothers

Terence makes an unconvincing lady.

He stamps around the office dragging his feathered shorts behind him.

Every two steps, he stops and twitches his bottom.

Give me those shorts, says Katherine. Seeing you've got them off, I'm going to wash them.

Terence skips away from her grasping fingers.

The door opens. In comes Sweezus.

Everyone freezes.

.....

Five minutes later, Sweezus is walking down Waymouth Street with Terence, who again has his shorts on.

Am I in trouble? asks Terence.

No, says Sweezus. It's my fault. I should have been there.

Yes! says Terence. You should have. We only had me.

I thought you were playing Doctor Pangloss, says Sweezus.

Dead, says Terence, gloomily. He's the world's most BORING-EST otter!

He's not an otter, says Sweezus.

That's how I play him, says Terence. It's much funner. Or it WAS.

Sweezus grabs Terence by the arm and heads for Victoria Square.

Where are we going? asks Terence.

Somewhere more suited to your age group, says Sweezus. You'll like this, I promise.

Soon they are at the entrance to the Royal Croquet Club.

Are we going to a SHOW? asks Terence, looking around at the tents, and the rows of flags flapping.

Kind of, says Sweezus, scanning the outdoor settings.

Cool! There they are. Arthur and Pablo. Sitting under a black umbrella, at a table full of empty bottles and glasses, watching young families attempt to play croquet with mallets.

Dudes! says Sweezus. You're here already. Look after Terence for a second.

He makes off, in the direction of the Box Office.

Arthur! says Terence. Guess what? I had to get taken away from the rehearsal.

Why was that? asks Arthur.

They made me take off my pants, says Terence. It's not acceptable.

Who did? asks Arthur, to whom this story does not quite ring true.

Everyone, says Terence.  Katherine. She said she was going to wash them.

That's unacceptable? says Pablo. But it seems to me you should have been happy to have a nice woman like Katherine offering to do you a motherly service.

Yes, but.... NO! says Terence. She chased me! I ran away. I ran into Sweezus. He said it was.....

Terence's voice trails away.

What? asks Arthur.

Motherly plop, mutters Terence.

Sweezus said that? says Arthur.

No, he said it was ex....explositive, says Terence.

You miss your mother, says Pablo. I too miss my mother. She died. Then I had another one. She was kind. Then she died. I miss her too.

I never had one, says Terence. Only a Virgin. She was rubbish.

Sweezus returns with two tickets to Dot Maze.

Thanks guys, says Sweezus. Let's hang out later. I'm just taking Terence to Get Lost at Dot Maze.

Terence looks frightened.

Sweezus leads him away.