Turned Up Didn't Muff Anything

The show's over. Vello re-enters the tent.

Sweezus and Arthur are helping Terence pick up the gold coins he was showered with.

What a coup, says Vello. All this extra money. Well done Terence.

Now I'm going to MELBOURNE, says Terence.

What? says Sweezus. First I've heard of it.

Not with this money, says Vello. This is communal money.

My money, says Terence, shovelling coins into his shorts.

The coins all drop out again.

Bugger, says Terence.

Language! says Sweezus.

I know it's language, says Terence.

It's Terence's money, says Sweezus. He was showered with it.

I disagree, says Vello. It was thrown during the play. It's everyone's.

Does anyone know why I'm going to Melbourne? asks Terence.

No, says Arthur. No one does. Why?

Grandpa's there, says Terence. Doing a conference.

So he is, says Vello. The Easter Marxism conference. I assume you're referring to Marx. You do know he isn't your real grandpa?

You do know you're a fart face? says Terence.

Gaius comes in.

Gaius! says Vello. Congratulations on a brilliant Cacambo.

It was nothing, says Gaius modestly.

True, says Vello. You didn't have much to say. But you turned up, and you didn't muff anything.

We're going to Melbourne, says Terence. With my money.

Gaius looks sceptical.

Grandpa Marx is there, says Terence. Sweezus is coming with me.

No way, little dude, says Sweezus. I always go camping at Easter.

Quiet, says Vello. I vote we use all the money for a nice dinner of Wagyu beef burgers, from the burger bar outside. We're all hungry.

Not me, says Terence.

Except you, says Vello. I grant that. Perhaps you could go for a nice holiday with Gaius. He's always going somewhere. Looking out for endangered fish and things of that nature.

Steady on, says Gaius. I was thinking of going to Perth, but Arthur will be coming with me, and we don't need a baby.

Perth, says Arthur. What for?

They've identified a new species of seadragon. says Gaius. Phyllopteryx dewysea.

Wicked! says Sweezus. Seadragons are ace.

I'm not going, says Arthur.

I might go, says Sweezus.

I'm going to Melbourne, says Terence. No one can stop me.

Vello starts picking up coins from the floor.

There's enough for four Wagyu beef burgers.