How To Get What You Want Without Lying

Merle returns with four cakes.

Arthur and Pablo start eating.

Aren't you going to introduce us? asks Rosamunda.

This is Merle and Loretta, says Pablo. Two kind ladies we joined up with, who profess to love poets.

Ha ha, laughs Loretta, looking slightly uncomfortable.

She whips off her high cotton hat. Good heavens, how embarrassing. She was still wearing it.

We've all been to Writers' Week, says Merle, reaching for a cake spoon.

Ah, says David. Who's on there?

Everyone! gushes Merle. Even Julia Gillard. But we missed her. We were listening to Pablo, and Arthur.

And Arthur? says Rosamunda.

Oh yes, Arthur is quite the modern poet, says Loretta.

I know, says Rosamunda. He has many talents. What's that book you've got, Arthur?

Arthur is spooning cake into his mouth mechanically and leafing through pages.

Savage Harvest, says Arthur. A tale of cannibals, colonialism and Michel Rockerfeller's tragic demise.

Oh ! says Merle. Did you go back and buy it, dear? I thought you didn't have any money.

This copy was damaged, says Arthur.

Well, says Katherine. This is nice, meeting you ladies. But we must be getting along. David has a busy day tomorrow.

Is he a writer? asks Loretta.

No, says Katherine. Well yes, he has written a few things. Philosophical musings. Never makes much money. But tomorrow he's acting in Candide. Rosamunda here is the director.

Yes, says Rosamunda. Come along if you like. Tell your friends.

Candide, says Merle. That's that French play by Voltaire. Are you doing it in English?

Yes, says Rosamunda. And it's very funny. Doctor Pangloss is played by a baby.

How INTRIGUING! says Merle. We must go and see that, Loretta.

Did you mean Terence? says Pablo. I thought he was banned from being in it.

Not by me, says Rosamunda.

By Sweezus, says Arthur, looking up from Savage Harvest.

Shit, says Rosamunda. The no-pants thing. What shall we do David?

I'll fix it, says David.

He takes out his phone and calls Sweezus.

Sweezus answers abruptly.

What? I'm in bed.

You'll be interested in this though, says David. Denis Diderot is coming tomorrow.

Loretta nearly chokes on a cake crumb. Merle pats her back.

Yes, says David, and that means work for you, if you want it.

He hears Terence's voice in the background, saying something which sounds like don't stop.

An article! says Sweezus. Awesome. I'll be round first thing in the morning. But I'll have to bring Terence.

Of course, by all means bring Terence, says David.

The call ends.

Sorted, says David.