The All Nighter

Gaius is sleeping on his recliner.

Every so often, he groans and rolls over.

What's wrong with Gaius? asks Terence.

Nothing, says Surfing-with-Whales. It's his recliner, not following the curve of his ....shit! 

That doesn't make sense, says Terence. 

Game over! says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Did you lose? asks Terence.

Yeah, I lost concentration, says Surfing-with-Whales. The aim is to be the last man standing.

On what? asks Terence.

Doesn't matter on what, says Surfing-with-Whales. I died, that's what matters.

Start a new game, says Terence.

I might try Fortnitemares, says Surfing-with-Whales, clicking through.

That looks good, says Terence. 

Yeah, says Surfing with Whales. It's new. And scary! You up for it?

Me? says Terence.

You'll be watching me play it, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Sure, says Terence. 

He watches as Surfing-with-Whales's avatar dodges exploding pumpkins and encounters a challenge called Tricycle Scare.

Ha ha! laughs Terence. A three-wheeler! That's lame.

Bugger! says Surfing with-Whales. Defeated again. 

Sorry, says Terence.

Doesn't matter, says Surfing-with-Whales. Maybe we should try and get some shut-eye.

You promised! says Terence.

Promised what? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

To do an all nighter, says Terence. Like me.

Yeah so I did, says Surfing-with-Whales. Okay.

He makes room for Terence on the recliner.

It's not quite wide enough, but Terence doesn't mind.

Ouch! says Surfing-with-Whales. What's that sticking into my leg?

My claw, says Terence. I put it in my pocket.

Take it out, says Surfing-with-Whales. It can go in my pocket.

What if you lose it? asks Terence.

I won't lose it, says Surfing-with-Whales. I'm a careful type of person.

Terence takes the claw out of his pocket, and hands it to Surfing-with-Whales, who shoves it into his pocket.

Now what? asks Terence.

Let's talk, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

What about? asks Terence.

Whatever, says Surfing-with-Whales. Your claw, for example. How'd you get it?

My blood brother, says Terence.

Where is he now? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

I don't know, says Terence.

That's like me and Farky, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Farky was Sweezus's dog, says Terence.

Yeah but he left him with me, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Where is he now? asks Terence.

I don't know, says Surfing-with-Whales.

So Terence and Surfing-with-Whales have something in common.

External Things

Gaius returns from the rest room.

Surfing-with-Whales is lying back in his recliner, playing Fortnite Battle Royale.

Terence is watching.

Gaius sits down on his recliner and fiddles with the knob.

Terence, says Gaius. Can you help me with this?

Sure, says Terence. 

Sit here and pull this knob backwards, says Gaius. Meanwhile I'll go behind the seat and bear down.

Terence sits on the seat and leans sideways to pull on the knob.

This is like a video game, says Terence. Now what?

Gaius tries to force the back down.

Crunk! The back collapses and the recliner is now horizontal. 

Excellent! says Gaius. Good work Terence.

Terence gets off and Gaius gets on.

Gaius lies back. Hum. It's not quite horizontal. If anything, his head is lower than his shoulders. Yes, he can see what's behind him. This won't do.

We might need to crank it up a little, says Gaius.

What for? asks Terence.

My head is too low, says Gaius. Blood will rush to it while I'm sleeping.

Is that bad? asks Terence.

Not good for thinking, says Gaius. I'll ask Surfing-with-Whales to help.

What is it? asks Surfing-with-Whales, looking up from his Battle Royale. 

I need help adjusting this recliner, says Gaius.

What the problem? asks Surfing-with-Whales. It looks pretty flat.

Not strictly flat, says Gaius. My head is below my shoulders when I lie down.

Lie the other way round, says Surfing-with-Whales. With your head where your feet are.

I shouldn't have to, says Gaius.

Yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales. You could ask for a cushion.

Ask who? grumbles Gaius.

Staff, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Never mind, says Gaius. I'll just try reversing.

He lies with his head where his feet were. 

It's not bad.

This will do, says Gaius. Now I'll try and get some sleep, since we'll be waking up early.

How early? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

About five thirty am, says Gaius. We arrive in Devonport at six.

I might pull an all nighter, says Surfing-with-Whales.

I don't recommend it, says Gaius. 

What is it? asks Terence.

When you stay awake all night, says Surfing-with-Whales.

I always do that, says Terence.

Cool, says Surfing-with-Whales. You can stay up with me.

Gaius rolls over on his recliner, leaving them to it.

There is an inconvenient curve in the recliner, which would be fine if he were lying the other way....but he isn't....however, one should deal with these things like a stoic....what was it Marcus Aurelius said....external things are not the problem....of course he probably never had to deal with a faulty mechanism on a Spirit of Tasmania recliner.... 

With this wry thought, Gaius drifts off.

What Whoozer?

Gaius and Terence go back to the recliners.

Surfing-with-Whales looks up.

Good movie? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

No, says Terence. We snuck out and ran round the ferry.

Which they were told not to do, says Gaius.

We saw a bird, says Terence. 

Cool, says Surfing-with-Whales. How come you're so sticky?

We were sucking red snakes, says Terence.

I'm heading for the rest rooms, says Surfing-with-Whales. Wanna come? You can wash there.

Yes, says Terence.

I'll wait here, says Gaius. I'll go when you come back.

Terence and Surfing-with-Whales head for the rest rooms.

Surfing-with-Whales lifts Terence up to a wash basin and turns on the tap.

Terence washes his hands.

Face, too, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Terence splashes his face.

Surfing-with-Whales puts him down.

Now, dry your hands in this dryer while I take a pee, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Terence is too low to insert his hands at the top, so he sticks them in from the side.

Whoooozzz-thizz! goes the dryer.

My claw! cries Terence.

Surfing-with-Whales has finished his pee.

What's up, buddy?

I've been melted! says Terence.

No you haven't, says Surfing-with-Whales. Those dryers can't melt stuff.

My claw dropped off, says Terence. When it whooozed and thizzed loudly!

Let's see, says Surfing-with-Whales. Shit yeah! There's your claw at the bottom!

He reaches into the dryer to retrieve the lost claw, thereby setting it off again.

Whoooozzz! goes the dryer. Then: Wooo....erffffff....

It's broken, says Terence.

Too bad, says Surfing-with-Whales. I've got the claw. Let's go back to Gaius. 

They leave the rest room, and the broken dryer. 

Guess what! says Terence.

I'm sure you'll tell me, says Gaius, looking up from his notes.

My claw came off in the whoozer, says Terence.

What whoozer is this? asks Gaius.

The hand dryer in the men's, says Surfing-with-Whales. But no worries, I've got it.

He hands it to Gaius.

I used fish glue, says Gaius. I'm surprised it fell off.

Use some more, says Terence.

I haven't brought any with me, says Gaius.

Bumhole! says Terence.

We'll buy superglue in Devonport, says Gaius. Meanwhile, hold onto it.

Me? asks Terence.

Yes, you, says Gaius. I'm off to the rest room.

Hand dryer's not working, says Surfing-with-Whales.

I'll wipe my hands on my trousers, says Gaius. I've done it before.

On-wee Is A Feeling

Gaius is uncomfortable on his ninety degree angle recliner.

He taps Surfing-with-Whales on the shoulder.

Surfing-with-Whales looks up from his game of Minecraft.

On the screen there are colourful explosions, and a galloping goat.

I'm going to meet Terence, says Gaius. The movie has probably finished.

Yeah, cool, says Surfing-with-Whales.

He turns back to his screen, and keeps adding things for the goat to jump over.

Gaius arrives at the movie theatre, at the same time as Maurice's mother.

They should be coming out any minute, says Maurice's mother.

Good timing on our part, says Gaius. I hope they've enjoyed it.

I'm sure they will have, says Maurice's mother. And hopefully it's given them something to think about.

Indeed, says Gaius.

The movie has ended with ending-type music.

A few children straggle out and are met by their parents.

But not Maurice. And not Terence,

This is no good, says Maurice's mother. Where are they?

Let us go in, says Gaius They're probably still inside, mulling things over.

Right, says Maurice's mother.

They both go inside.

The movie theatre is empty, except for a cleaner.

Excuse me, says Maurice's mother. Have you seen two boys in here anywhere?

Sorry, no, says the cleaner. Perhaps they left early.

They'd better not have, says Maurice's mother.

She exits the movie theatre, followed by Gaius.

Should we instigate a search? asks Gaius.

Yes! says Maurice's mother  They could have fallen overboard!

I doubt that, says Gaius. 

Maurice's mother looks around for an emergency button.

Luckily there isn't one.

Because here comes Maurice, followed by Terence, both with red mouths and sticky fingers.

Mum! says Maurice.

Where have you been? asks his mother.

In there, says Maurice. Weren't we, Terence.

Yes, says Terence. 

So you came out early, says Maurice's mother. Why was that?

We needed a wash, says Maurice. Didn't we, Terence.

Yes, says Terence. But we couldn't turn on the taps.

We can see that, says Gaius. What did you think of the movie? Something to think about?

Maurice's mother waits for an answer.

On-wee is a feeling, says Terence. 

Yes, says Maurice. A girl's feeling.

Maurice's mother looks annoyed.

Perhap you were both too young for this movie, she says. Come on, Maurice....it's bedtime.

She marches Maurice away to their room.

Gaius and Terence make their way back to the recliners.

Was it fun? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Terence. We saw a bird on the railing. I asked if it wanted a suck of red snake, but it didn't.

Just as well, says Gaius. It may have had avian flu.

It flew off, says Terence.

I take it you weren't in the movie theatre, at the time, says Gaius.

How did you know? asks Terence.

But he's always known Gaius was smart.

The Junior Vet

This is better than watching a movie, says Terence.

Yes, says Maurice. We can watch the black sky and hear the sea churning.

And see bats, says Terence.

Those aren't bats says Maurice.

How do you know? asks Terence. 

Because, says Maurice. Bats wouldn't fly over Bass Strait.

They might, says Terence.

Why might they? asks Maurice.

On-wee, says Terence. The wetness. 

They're probably seabirds, says Maurice.

Or seabats, says Terence.

Or drones, says Maurice. 

He sucks his red snake. 

A red knot lands on the railing of the ferry.

Warrk! says the red knot.

Are you a seabat? asks Terence.

Naark! says the red knot. What's that you're eating?

I'm sucking, says Terence.

Sucking, then, says the red knot.

A red snake, says Terence. Want a suck?

Don't! says Maurice. It might have the avian flu!

Yikes! says Terence.

If I had the avian flu, says the red knot, I wouldn't be sitting on this railing.

You might, says Maurice. You might think that a suck on a red snake would make you feel better.

What are you, a junior vet? scoffs the red knot.

It flies off into the darkness.

Lucky I didn't let it have a suck, says Terence.

Yes, lucky, says Maurice.

They continue sucking.

Do you reckon the movie might've finished? asks Maurice.

Who cares? says Terence.

I'll be in trouble if my parents find out I didn't watch it, says Maurice.

Okay let's go back, says Terence.

They stand up.

Look around. 

It's dark at this end of the ferry.

How to find their way back is the problem.

Sucking Red Snakes

Go in, says Maurice's mother. I'll come back for you when it's finished.

Terence and Maurice enter the movie theatre, and sit down.

How long is this movie? asks Terence.

How do I know? says Maurice. Hey, do you want a red snake?

Yes, says Terence. 

Maurice hands him the packet, and Terence picks one.

He starts to suck the red snake, which soon becomes slimy.

Maurice bites the head off his snake.

The movie has started.

Inside Out 2.

They watch it until....

Is this about a GIRL? asks Terence.

Riley, and her feelings, says Maurice.

She's got too many feelings, says Terence.

You're not kidding, says Maurice. In Inside Out 1, she only had five feelings.

Which ones? asks Terence.

Umm, says Maurice. Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, Anger. But now she's got older.

I didn't get more feelings when I got older, says Terence.

How old are you? asks Maurice.

That depends, says Terence. 

On what? says Maurice. I'm eleven.

I'm eleven, says Terence.

You don't look like eleven, says Maurice.

Shut up, you boys, says a girl who is sitting behind them.

Terence and Maurice suck their snakes, and watch Riley's new feelings.

The feelings have names: Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment, Ennui.

This is dumb, says Terence. What's on-wee?

I don't know, says Maurice. Wetness?

If you boys don't shut up, says the girl behind them, I'm TELLING!

Let's go! says Terence. Let's run round the ferry and come back at the end of the movie.

Okay, says Maurice.

They sneak out with their snakes and start running.

They run past passengers who are sitting in groups chatting. 

Passengers who are eating and drinking.

Passengers who are strolling.

And Maurice's dad, who is just coming out of the rest room.

Maurice! Stop! shouts his father.

But Maurice does not stop. Nor does Terence.

They run till they get to an uninhabited part of the ferry.

Where they sit on a coiled rope.

In the dark. 

Sucking red snakes.

Boing! Curses!

Dinner over, they go off to find their allotted recliners.

Ah, here we are, says Gaius. Now let's hope they're functioning properly.

Want me to test them? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Not yet, says Gaius. 

Because guess what happens, says Terence.

What happens? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

They go down but they don't go up again, says Terence. 

Not always, says Gaius. But it's annoying if it happens. Especially if it does it too early.

Yeah, I get that, says Surfing-with-Whales.

He does get it. 

A guy might want to relax on his recliner, without being horizontal.

But maybe it's best to know early. You could ask someone to fix it.

I'll just try mine, says Surfing-with-Whales.

He fiddles with the knob on the side of the recliner.

Nothing happens.

He sits down.

All good, says Surfing-with-Whales.

He takes his phone out and starts playing Minecraft.

Can I go and look for Morris? asks Terence.

Maurice? says Gaius. No, wait here. His mother said they'd find us.

Maurice runs up.

Come on, Terence! The movie's starting!

Can we run around the ferry instead? asks Terence.

No, says Maurice's mother. I'm taking you to the movie theatre. Maurice has snacks.

I'm not allowed snacks, says Terence.

Red snakes? says Maurice. 

Can I eat red snakes? asks Terence.

You can suck them, says Gaius. But don't swallow or chew.

How can I chew if I've already swallowed? asks Terence.

Ha ha! laughs Maurice. You're funny!

Don't chew or swallow, says Gaius. Now off you go. Enjoy!

Terence and Maurice head off with Maurice's mother to watch Inside Out 2.

Gaius sits on his recliner to study his notes. 

Hum. It would be more comfortable if the back were slightly more upright.

Should he risk turning the knob? 

Surfing-with-Whales had no trouble.

Look at him, playing Minecraft, with the back of his seat at a comfortable angle.

Gaius turns the knob, and leans forward in his recliner.

Boing! Curses! The back jerks up, to an angle of ninety degrees.

Easy To Please

Perhaps we should locate our recliners, says Gaius.

I'm kind of hungry, says Surfing-with-Whales.

All right, says Gaius. Dinner first.

They go to the dining area. 

What can I have? asks Terence.

I'm sure they'll have red drinks, says Gaius.

He can see into the fridge. They do have red drinks. 

What are you having? he asks Surfing-with-Whales.

I'll have the Thai Red Curry, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Bold choice, says Gaius. I'll have the Crumbed Blue Eye Trevalla.

He orders both dinners and three raspberry colas.

He pays, they pick up their dinners, and go and sit down.

This is nice, says Gaius.

What's in this curry? asks Surfing-wth-Whales.

Sweet potato, isn't it? says Gaius.

No chicken? says Surfing-with-Whales.

The menu didn't mention chicken, says Gaius.

Mum always makes it with chicken, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Well, if you're not going to eat it..... says Gaius.

I'll eat some of it, says Surfing-with-Whales. Then I might go back and see if there's anything with chicken.

You'll have to pay for it yourself, says Gaius. I'm not made of money.

Sure, says Surfing-with-Whales. Add it onto my bill.

He eats some more Thai Red Curry.

Then goes back to the counter, to order the oven baked chicken with cajun spices.

What a fuss pot, says Gaius. I'm glad you're easy to please.

Yes, says Terence. I'm easy to please. Can I try his red sauce?

It's a hot curry sauce, says Gaius. Better stick to your raspberry cola.

But Terence, wishing to try the red sauce, and demonstrate he is easy to please, dips a claw into the sauce, and sucks it.

Ahhyahh! cries Terence, immediately burning his tongue.

Surfing-with-Whales returns with his plate of oven baked chicken.

I had to pay for this, says Surfing-with-Whales, so you owe me.

Sorry, says Gaius. All that means is you don't owe me.

You actually owe mum, says Surfing with Whales. I used her credit card. She'll be chasing me for it when she gets the bill.

Don't use her card again, says Gaius. I don't like owing Lauren.

No worries, says Surfing-with-Whales. And what's up with him?

Your stupid sauce! says Terence. It's killed me!

Yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales. It was kind of hot.

Gaius continues to eat his Crumbed Blue Eye Trevalla.

Which tastes exceedingly pleasant. 

At least someone is easy to please.

Hands On Only

Time to board the ferry.

Terence and Maurice run up the ramp.

Followed by Gaius and Surfing-with-Whales.

And Maurice's parents.

Our son has made friends with your child, says Maurice's mother.

That is good, says Gaius. They'll amuse one another.

Yes, says Maurice's mother. Maybe they'd like to watch a movie.

That would be nice, says Gaius. What's playing?

Inside Out 2, says Maurices's mother. I'm sure it's appropriate. Maurice loved Inside Out 1.

What's it about? asks Gaius.

Children's feelings, says Maurice's mother. It's quite clever. The feelings are cartoon characters.

That does sound clever, says Gaius.

They have now reached the top of the ramp.

We're going to find our room then grab something to eat, says Maurice's father. 

We've booked recliners, says Gaius.

Then I'm sure we'll find you, says Maurice's mother.

She calls Maurice, and the family goes off to look for their room.

Terence runs back to Gaius and Surfing-with-Whales. 

We're going to run around the ferry after dinner, says Terence.

Sounds like you'll be seeing a movie, says Surfing-with-Whales.

What movie? asks Terence.

Inside Out 2, says Gaius. It's all about feelings.

Yuck, says Terence.

Apparently quite clever, says Gaius.

Yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales. It's good to keep in touch with our feelings.

You speak as someone who knows, says Gaius.

Yeah, well, says Surfing-with-Whales. Mum and her Reiki.

Yes, how is Lauren? asks Gaius.

Level three, says Surfing-with-Whales. No hands.

I'm sorry to hear that, says Gaius. 

That means she does long distance healing, says Surfing-with-Whales. But only on Wednesdays, while I mind the craft shop.

I see, says Gaius. So, has she taught you any of her techniques?

Sure has, says Surfing-with-Whales. Hands on only.

I trust I shall not need to avail myself of your services, says Gaius. I am somewhat of a sceptic.

No worries, says Surfing-with-Whales. Let's go and get dinner. You paying?

Looks like it, says Gaius.

My Blood Brother's Claw

The skybus arrives at the ferry terminal.

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

Yes, says Gaius. This is where we get off.

He carries Terence to the front of the bus and steps off.

He puts Terence down on the footpath.

Wait here with Surfing-with-Whales, says Gaius. I'll buy the tickets.

He goes off to find the ticket office.

I've been on this ferry before, says Terence.

When was that? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

A long time ago, says Terence. With Gaius and Arthur. We had recliners.

Recliners? says Surfing-with-Whales. Were they comfy?

They were broken, says Terence. 

They've probably fixed them by now, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Gaius comes back.

I've  booked the last two recliners for the evening crossing, says Gaius. We board at 6.45.

Cool, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Cool, says Terence.

He looks around for Maurice and his family, but doesn't see them.

Let's grab a coffee, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Excellent suggestion, says Gaius.

They go to a nearby café, and sit down.

Will Morris be on the ferry? asks Terence.

Doubtless, says Gaius. Look, there he is now!

Maurice is in the café with his parents.

Terence runs over.

Morris! says Terence. Have you got a recliner?

No, says Maurice, we've got a room. It's more comfy.

Gaius got the last two recliners, says Terence. I don't need one.

Why? asks Maurice.

I never sleep, says Terence. 

How do you grow? asks Maurice.

I don't says Terence. I'm always the same size.

How come you've got a claw? asks Maurice.

It's my blood brother's claw, says Terence. He's got my finger. They're stuck on with glue.

Who's this? asks Maurice's mother.

The boy on the bus, says Maurice. He's going on the ferry. Can we play together?

Maurice's mother looks at Maurice's father.

Terence looks like a nice little boy, except for the dirty gecko shorts and the claw finger.

Yes, of course, says Maurice's mother. What's your name, dear?

Terence, says Terence. 

And you're going to Tasmania on the ferry? says Maurice's mother.

Yes, says Terence.

With your parents? asks Maurice's father.

No, says Terence. With Gaius and Surfing-with-Whales. 

Unusual name, says Maurice's father.

So is Morris, says Terence.

It's not Morris, says Maurice's mother. It's Maurice.

I don't mind Terence calling me Morris, says Maurice.

Me either, says Terence.

Maurice?

Maurice's mother is weird.

Robot On The Bus

They sit at the back of the bus, in case Terence says anything.

I can't see out, says Terence.

You're not meant to be talking, says Surfing-with-Whales.

But I'm not meant to be not SEEING, says Terence.

Stand up on the seat, says Gaius. But do keep your mouth shut.

Muh! says Terence, keeping his mouth shut.

He stands up on the seat.

A kid who is sitting with his parents gets up and comes to the back of the bus.

The kid stands in the bus aisle in front of Terence who is now standing up.

I like your statue, says the kid. Can I touch it?

Better not, says Gaius,

It might fall over, says Surfing-with-Whales.

You should put it on the floor, says the kid.

No way! says Terence.

Is it a robot? asks the kid.

Muh! says Terence, remembering he's not meant to speak.

Make it talk again, says the kid.

Sure, why not, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Indeed, why not, says Gaius. Robot or statue, it shouldn't need a ticket.

Does that mean I can talk? asks Terence.

Yes, says Gaius. But in a robot-like way.

What-is-your-name-boy-person? asks Terence, in a robot-like voice.

Maurice, says Maurice. What's yours?

Morris, says Terence. 

Something's wrong with your robot. says Maurice to Surfing-with-Whales.

It's not mine, says Surfing-with-Whales. It's his.

He indicates Gaius.

Something's wrong with it, says Maurice.

Nothing's wrong with it, says Gaius. It was just repeating your name in order to learn it.

But it didn't answer my question, says Maurice.

Ask it again, says Gaius. 

Hello-Morris, says Terence. My-name-is-Terence. Ask-me-anything.

What's twenty times thirty? asks Maurice.

A-big-number, says Terence.

Maurice looks surprised.

What's five thousand times fifty seven? asks Maurice.

That's-a-hard-one, says Terence.

No it isn't, says Maurice, you just times fifty seven by five and add two zeroes.

Well-done-Morris, says Terence.

Three zeroes, says Gaius.

Maurice gives up asking maths. 

Where are you going? asks Maurice.

Tasmania-on-the-ferry, says Terence. 

Me too! says Maurice.

Yay! says Terence. We can be on the ferry together. I mean, We-can-be-on-the-ferry-together.

I already know you're not a robot, says Maurice.

I-am-on-the-bus, says Terence.

Okay, says Maurice. See you on the ferry. 

He goes back to the seat near his parents.

Terence looks out of the window at passing houses, shops, wires, poles and sky.

He thinks about asking Are we there yet?

Or Are-we-there-yet?

Cement Fingers Bad

The plane lands in Melbourne.

That was short, says Terence.

That's because you had something constructive to do, says Surfing-with-Whales. But now I'd like my phone back.

Terence hands it back.

The screen's scratched, says Surfing-with-Whales.

That will be Terence's cement fingers, says Gaius. I don't let him use my phone.

You did once, says Terence.

But not thereafter, says Gaius.

Okay, says Surfing-with-Whales. I can live with a few scratches. 

Me too, says Terence.

So now we head for the ferry? asks Surfing-with-Whales. 

We'll catch the Skybus to Geelong, says Gaius. The ferry leaves from there.

I always wanted to go on a skybus, says Terence.

It's simply a bus, says Gaius. I wonder what it costs these days?

Turns out it costs 39 dollars per adult one way, and 26 dollars for a child, aged 3-17.

You paying? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Only for the ferry, says Gaius. Unless ...?

Yeah well, says Surfing with Whales. I am a bit cash strapped....

You can reimburse me, says Gaius, but I'll try to get Terence on for nothing. That will save me 26 dollars and you'll only owe me the difference.

You're a legend, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

They make their way to the Skybus.

Gaius pays for two adults and carries Terence on.

In this way Terence appears to be a statue. 

As long as he remains stiff.

And doesn't say anything.

Gaius has done nothing wrong.

Red Trees In The Sky

Gaius is at the airport with Terence, waiting for Surfing-with-Whales.

A Border Force officer comes up behind them.

Going somewhere? asks the Border Force officer.

Melbourne, says Gaius.

Not a problem, says the Border Force officer. As long as you stay in the country.

He walks off.

Surfing-with-Whales appears, with a very small back pack.

Hey! says Surfing-with-Whales. Good to see you.

You too, says Gaius. 

Guess what? says Terence.

What? says Surfing-with-Whales.

A policeman told Gaius to stay in the country, says Terence.

He wasn't a policeman, says Gaius.

I saw him, says Surfing-with-Whales. That's why I hung back a little. How come you have to stay in the country?

A small matter of a so-called coded manuscript I received with a frog, says Gaius. Baby Pierre had written it. 

A coded manuscript, says Surfing-with-Whales. Heavy!

It was simply the story of Baby Pierre's cycling trip across the Nullarbor with his cousin, says Gaius. No coded messages were in it, as ASIO will learn soon enough. 

Baby Pierre cycled across the Nullarbor? says Surfing-with-Whales. Respect!

It was a fantasy, says Gaius. He arrived here by plane, along with the tinker.

Okay, says Surfing-with-Whales. What's a tinker?

The frog was the tinker, says Gaius. 

Yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales, looking around. Have we got time for a coffee?

No, says Gaius. We'll get one on the plane.

....

They are now on the plane.

Terence is sitting next to Gaius.

Surfing-with-Whales is sitting across the aisle from Terence.

Surfing-with-Whales is playing Minecraft on his phone.

What are you playing? asks Terence.

Minecraft, says Surfing-with-Whales. You ever played it?

I'm not allowed, says Terence.

It's for kids, says Surfing-with-Whales. You just mine things and build stuff. 

I ruin things, says Terence.

Yeah you can ruin things too, says Surfing-with-Whales. Here, have a go. This is my patio. You can put stuff on it.

He hands Terence his phone.

The patio is made of large blocks of purple rock round the edge of a solid blue swimming pool with whale spouts blowing out of holes in the water. Spurt! Spurt! 

Terence doesn't know what to add.

Add some seats, says Surfing-with-Whales. And an umbrella. 

He shows Terence how.

Soon Terence is adding and adding. The umbrellas and seats are in the water. It doesn't seem to matter.

There are even red trees in the sky.

What are you doing? asks Gaius.

Minecraft, says Terence.

He shows Gaius his patio.

Very nice, says Gaius, but what is the point of it?

Adding, says Terence.

Enter Surfing With Whales

Terence goes back inside.

Gaius is on the phone again, to Arthur.

Anyone? says Gaius. Of course they must be able to swim.

And not mean, says Terence.

What's that? says Gaius. Oh, that was Terence. Not wanting anyone mean. I should think that goes without saying. Yes I'll pay for their fare on the ferry. .....Yes, will you ask him? All right I'll ask him myself if you give me his number..... Right, thank you, Arthur.

The call ends.

Who's coming? asks Terence.

Arthur suggests I ask Surfing-with-Whales, says Gaius. Of course it's whale watching season so he might be busy.

Gaius calls the number.

Yeah? says Surfing-with-Whales. Who is it?

I thought you ran a business, says Gaius. 

Who's asking? says Surfing-with-Whales.

Me, Gaius, says Gaius.

Shit, Gaius! says Surfing-with-Whales. How's things going?

Very well, as always, says Gaius. How about you?

Good, says Surfing-with-Whales. Minding mum's craft shop on Wednesdays. Bit of surfing. 

What about the business? asks Gaius.

Not many takers, says Surfing-with-Whales. No one wants to go surfing with whales, they just want to watch them.

Perhaps it's for the best, says Gaius.

Yeah right, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

I have a proposition for you, says Gaius. I'm about to head off to Tasmania to check on the maugean skate population, and Arthur, who is unable to come with me for obscure reasons, suggested I ask you instead. I need someone who's a strong swimmer.

Do I get paid? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

I shall pay for the ferry, says Gaius. And food will be included. We'll camp and cycle, so it should work out quite cheaply.

So, no, says Surfing-with-Whales.

No? says Gaius. 

I don't get paid, says Surfing-with-Whales.

You'll be mentioned in my paper, should I decide to publish, says Gaius. And there are whales to be watched in Tasmania. Perhaps you could build up some interest. 

Hm, says Surfing-with-Whales. Mm. Uh. 

He is obviously thinking.

Okay, says Surfing-with-Whales. When are we leaving?

We fly to Melbourne tomorrow, says Gaius. I'll book the tickets. 

Cool, I'll meet you at the airport, says Surfing-with-Whales. Send me the details.

Excellent, says Gaius.

Is he coming? asks Terence.

Yes, says Gaius. We leave tomorrow.

Yay! says Terence. Surfing-with-Whales is a cool guy!

Let's hope not too cool, says Gaius.

 

You'll Be Underneath Me

Now I need to write it down, says Baby Pierre.

We can work on it together, says Ouvert. 

No we can't, says Baby Pierre. I know what you'll do.

What will I do? asks Ouvert.

You'll try to make yourself more important, says Baby Pierre.

More equal, says Ouvert. 

You can't be MORE equal, says Baby Pierre. 

The tinker hops down from the window sill, leaving them to it.

I'm ready to go now, says the tinker.

Good, says Rookai. Say your farewells and we'll get going.

Goodbye Gaius, says the tinker. Thanks for the adventures

Goodbye Kroombit tinker, says Gaius. Safe journey home. And I trust the adventurous life you've led lately won't leave you restless.

If it does, says the tinker, I'll set out again on my travels.

I advise against it, says Gaius. You are an endangered species. You need to settle in Kroombit Tops and procreate.

We'll see, says the tinker.

She follows Rookai into the garden, where Terence is waiting to see them off.

Goodbye Terence, says the tinker. Thank you for letting me be house mother to the pobblebonks.

Until they died, says Terence.

First I've heard about this, says Rookai.

I'll tell you all about it as we're flying, says the tinker.

I may not hear you, says Rookai. I'll be flying quite fast, and you'll be underneath me.

Well, they died, says the tinker. But it wasn't my fault.

No, it wasn't, says Terence. And it wasn't my fault either.

That's cleared that up, says Rookai. Goodbye Terence. I'll be back in a couple of days.

I'm going to Tasmania, says Terence.

I know, says Rookai. 

With Gaius and another adult who can swim, says Terence.

Do we know who yet? asks Rookai. 

Not yet, says Terence.

Bye then, says Rookai. 

Bye! says the tinker.

Rookai takes off and disappears over Gaius's rooftop.

For a long time the tinker continues to wave.

Good In Parts

That's very good, says Gaius. I suppose you'll be off then?

Any time, says Rookai. Ready, tinker?

I promised to help Baby Pierre re-write his story, says the tinker.

So you did, says Rookai. I can wait. Take your time.

Where is Baby Pierre at this moment?

He is up on the window sill with his cousin Ouvert.

The tinker climbs out of the red netting sling and hops up there.

I'm leaving soon, says the tinker. If you want me to help you remember your story, it has to be now.

Okay, says Baby Pierre. Get me some paper.

It'll be quicker if I just tell you what I remember, says the tinker.

And more exciting, says Ouvert.

It wasn't exciting, says Baby Pierre. Mainly memories and conversations.

Let me tell it, says the tinker. Shall I use the first person?

Who's the first person? asks Ouvert.

Him, says the tinker. You'd be the second person.

Ouvert looks disappointed.

Use the first person, says Baby Pierre.

The tinker begins:

I was riding my bike across the Nullarbor when I met my cousin Ouvert, a rock expert looking for meteorites, and we were going the same way, so we rode on together and found a black one and I found an echinoid about which we debated the spelling. 

E.k.y, says Ouvert.

Or e.c.k.y, says Baby Pierre.

Who's telling this ? asks the tinker. And it was echi. Remember?

She continues: I described the desert as a fried carrot cake.

What? asks Ouvert.

That was what it looked like, says Baby Pierre.

But you weren't really there, says Ouvert.

He was inspired by Rosa's lunch, says the tinker.

Is she in it? asks Ouvert.

Shut up! No, says Baby Pierre. I'll forget the relevant details if you keep this up.

Sorry, says Ouvert.

Th tinker continues: And this recalled memories of the half carrot we took to Le Havre and floated out to sea in a box, decorated with flowers, birds and soap pictures. Which reminded us further of the fate of Saint Roley's brother. But my memories seemed more detailed than Ouvert's. I began to wonder if he really was my cousin so I asked him if he remembered Lavender and he said no, but later he pretended they'd once had a picnic together, in France.

I bet I wasn't pretending, says Ouvert.

It wasn't YOU! says Baby Pierre. 

Anyway, says the tinker, in the end you both agreed it didn't matter. And then you were there.

Where? asks Ouvert.

At the end of the Nullarbor, says the tinker. And you thanked Baby Pierre for his motivation.

That's right, says Baby Pierre. Ouvert was grateful.  I remember the whole story now!

Ask me how I like it, says Ouvert.

How do you like it? asks Baby Pierre.

Good in parts, says Ouvert.

Successful Contraption

Rookai looks at the map Terence has made.

It will need some additions.

Gaius is still on the phone.

Wait. No he isn't.

He's ended his call.

Arthur won't be coming with us to Tasmania, says Gaius. 

Does that mean I'm senior assistant? asks Terence.

No, says Gaius, I shall ask another adult. One who can swim.

Boo, says Terence. 

How's the map going? asks Gaius.

Terence ruined it, says the tinker.

It's not finished, says Terence.

We need your phone map again, says Rookai.

Gaius calls up his phone map.

Now, says Gaius, I assume you'll go as the crow flies.

Yes, says Rookai, although I prefer not to use that expression.

As the parrot flies, says Terence.

Rookai says nothing. After all, he agreed to be Terence's parrot. 

It's about two thousand kilometres, says Gaius. What speed do you go at?

Rookai does a quick calculation. I could do it in sixteen hours, without stops and without a frog in a contraption.

Let's say a day then, says Gaius. That will be excellent. Where is the contraption?

Here, says Terence holding out the orange bag made of red netting.

Wasn't there an orange in that? asks Gaius. 

Yes, says Terence. I put it in the potato box.

I'd better eat it before it goes mouldy, says Gaius.

He goes to the pantry.

Right, says Rookai. Let's plan where we'll be stopping. Choose two towns.

The tinker looks at the phone map. There are plenty of choices.

Peterborough... Broken Hill... Brewarrina... Goodooga... Dirranband... Yuleba... Woleebee... Bildera ...

She picks Goodooga and Woleebee.

Who wouldn't?

Mark them on Terence's map, says Rookai. 

The tinker picks up a pencil, and marks them on.

She folds the map until it is small and will fit in the contraption.

How do I carry this contraption? asks Rookai.

Holes, says Terence. You put your wings through.

That will stop me flying smoothly, says Rookai. Think again.

Head and tail through, says Terence.

That might do, says Rookai. Let's try it.

Rip, rip! Terence makes two holes.

Rookai pokes his head through one and his tail through the other.

Now get in, says Terence, to the tinker.

The tinker climbs in, with the map.

Rookai rises, and sucessfully flies round the kitchen.

The Red Sling

Perhaps it was a bad idea to give Terence two things to do.

He has copied the map on Gaius's phone onto the paper.

It's basically just a straight line.

Adelaide to Kroombit Tops as the crow flies.

Terence admires his straight line.

But it needs to have arrows. 

He draws an arrow point, at the Kroombit Tops end of the line.

Bumhole! 

That's not where he should have drawn the arrow. 

He decides to stop doing the map and look at Gaius's notes on the maugean skate.

Especially the pictures.

The maugean skate looks like a wide paper jet with eyes and tail ribbons.

It's pointy nose looks like the head of an arrow.

Terence has an idea.

If he turns his map into a picture of a maugean skate, the arrow will be in the right place after all.

He draws wide paper jet wings on the map route.

And eyes and tail ribbons. The arrow nose is there already.

And sharp blades which you could see if the maugean skate was see-through.

Rookai comes over.

How's it going? Is that our map?

It was, says Terence. But I made it into a maugean skate because of this arrow.

We'll get around it, says Rookai. 

The tinker comes over.

That doesn't look like a map, says the tinker.

It's a skate, says Terence. The map's inside it.

Where are the places we're stopping? asks the tinker.

You and I will mark them in, says Rookai.

I was going to do it, says Terence.

You'd be better occupied finding us some sort of sling, says Rookai. So I can comfortably carry the tinker.

Yay! This was the job Terence wanted to do in the first place.

What to use for a sling?

Gaius will have something.

But Gaius is on the phone to Arthur.

Terence goes into the pantry.

And sees an orange bag made of red plastic netting, with one orange inside.

He wonders if Gaius would like an orange.

Gaius is still talking.

Yes Arthur, but surely ....

Terence takes out the orange, and puts it in a box of potatoes.

Now the red netting orange bag is free to turn into a sling.

His Smiling Mouth

Gaius unlocks his front door and goes in.

He walks down the passage to the kitchen. 

He places the Kroombit tinker on the kitchen table.

Is Ouvert here? asks Baby Pierre.

Go and see, says Gaius. And Terence, go into the back garden and signal Rookai.

Terence goes into the back garden.

What was the signal?

Rookai flies down from the apricot tree. 

I got here early, says Roo-kai. In case you'd forgotten the signal.

I hadn't, says Terence. 

They both go inside.

The tinker is sitting beside a white sheet of paper.

You must be Rookai, says the tinker.

And you must be the Kroombit tinker, says Rookai. Is that for a map?

No, says the tinker. It's for Baby Pierre's story. I promised to help him re-write it.

I thought we were leaving, says Rookai.

He's already written it, says the tinker. But Border Force confiscated it. We just have to remember.

Ah, says Rookai. So where's Baby Pierre?

Baby Pierre is on the window sill telling Ouvert that he has written a story about the two of them.

What for? asks Ouvert.

I was cycling across the Nullarbor and I met you, says Baby Pierre. You were a rock collector. 

I wasn't, says Ouvert. I've been here all the time.

It might not have been you, says Baby Pierre. And anyway it was a story. It wasn't really me either. If I had the story I'd show it to you but I lost it.

Ouvert smirks with his smiling mouth, keeping his second mouth straight.

Gaius comes out of his bedroom, with his notes on the maugean skate.

Look through these, Terence, says Gaius. Pay special attention to the pictures.

What about Rookai's map? asks Terence. 

I'm not sure he needs a map, says Gaius. 

The map is for the benefit of the tinker, says Rookai. She can follow it and anticipate the stops we'll be making.

I'd like that, says the tinker.

All right says Gaius. I'll call up a map on my phone and Terence can copy it onto this piece of paper.

Terence is pleased to have two things to do.

Sharp Blades Underneath

The bus rumbles away from the airport and heads for the city.

The tinker leaves Baby Pierre on the front seat and returns to where Gaius is sitting.

About this Rookai, says the tinker.

Yes? says Gaius.

Did you say he'd FLY me back to Kroombit Tops? asks the tinker.

It will be perfectly safe, says Gaius. He'll make frequent stops.

Will I have some input? asks the tinker.

I shall provide you with a map before you set out, says Gaius, so that you and Rookai can plan your journey.

Sounds good, says the tinker. But one other thing...

Yes, what is it? asks Gaius. 

Will he carry me in his beak? asks the tinker. 

I doubt it, says Gaius. It's a long way, and furthermore it would render him speechless.

Good, says the tinker. Because in his beak I would look like his prey.

Terence has been looking out of the window at passing vehicles, but has been listening.

Your legs would be dangling, says Terence. 

I know, says the tinker. Like I was swimming.

No one swims with their head in a beak, says Terence. 

My head wouldn't be in his beak, says the tinker. 

Of course it wouldn't, says Gaius. We'll help you rig up something.

Can I do it? asks Terence.

You can help, says Gaius. But you will be busy getting ready for Tasmania.

Busy? says Terence. Doing what?

Learning a few facts about maugean skates, says Gaius. How to identify them and so on. 

I already know, says Terence. They have wheels underneath.

They do not, says Gaius. I shall lend you my notes when we're home. There are pictures.

The bus stops in the city.

They change buses.

This bus is full.

Baby Pierre has to sit with Terence.

What do skates look like? asks Terence.

Shoes, says Baby Pierre.

I know that, says Terence, but what's underneath them?

Wheels, says Baby Pierre. Or sometimes sharp blades.

How come you're so smart? says Terence.

I ask questions, says Baby Pierre.

So do I, says Terence.

So now you know, says Baby Pierre.

Yes! Maugean skates must have sharp blades underneath them. 

Now Terence knows.

 

Stopped From Moving

Since when are we going to Tasmania? asks the tinker.

I am. You're not, says Gaius. I've made some arrangements.

Guess what they are, says Terence.

What? asks the tinker.

Rookai will be flying you back to Kroombit Tops, says Gaius. 

Who's Rookai? asks the tinker.

My parrot, says Terence.

Don't parrots eat frogs? asks the tinker.

No, says Gaius. They prefer fruit, seeds, nuts and flowers.

But Rookai eats molluscs, says Terence.

Funny sort of parrot, says the tinker.

He's an oystercatcher, says Baby Pierre. His hero is Saint Roley.

The one who lost his brother? asks the tinker.

You know about that? asks Gaius.

It was in Baby Pierre's story, says the tinker.

Just a throwaway line, says Baby Pierre.

Nevertheless, it's a point of connection, says Gaius. You should get on well with Rookai.

They are now at the airport bus stop. 

We'll catch the bus back to my house, and wait for Roo kai, says Gaius.

Not me, says Baby Pierre. I have to go back and rescue my story.

Too dangerous, says Gaius. I'm sure they'll send it on to me when they realise it's nonsense.

Nonsense? says Baby Pierre.

From their perspective, says Gaius. Aha! Here's the bus now.  

He helps the tinker get on. 

Baby Pierre is about to zoom off again.

No you don't, says Terence. He puts his foot down.

Crunch!

My bicycle! says Baby Pierre.

Sorry, says Terence. I just meant to stop you from moving.

You have stopped me from moving, says Baby Pierre.

Perhaps it's for the best, says Gaius. 

He picks up Baby Pierre and the bicycle parts, including the o-wheels.

And gets on the bus.

Baby Pierre sits on the small seat at the front.

He is sulking.

His bicycle is broken thanks to Terence.

His story is gone.

The tinker hops up beside him.

Are you sulking? asks the tinker.

No, says Baby Pierre. I'm regretting.

That's fair, says the Kroombit tinker. 

They are silent while Baby Pierre does some regretting.

That he didn't grab his story before zooming off.

That he didn't get on the bus before Terence.

I remember your story, says the tinker. If you like I'll help you rewrite it before I head off with Rookai.

A kind offer. 

Baby Pierre already feels somewhat better.

Don't Leave The Country

Gaius and Terence are waiting at International Arrivals.

Most of the passengers from Changi have already come out.

They're not coming! says Terence.

Patience! says Gaius. They're probably being held up by Border Force officials.

What will they do? asks Terence.

Deliver them to me, eventually, says Gaius. But perhaps I should make some enquiries.

He is just wondering where to go to make his enquiries when Terence shouts:

Yay! They're coming!

Baby Pierre zooms towards Terence and skids to a stop.

He is followed, seconds later, by the Kroombit tinker.

Get us out of here! says the tinker.

Is someone after you? asks Terence.

They might be, says Baby Pierre. We've escaped.

This won't do, says Gaius. There are certain procedures to be followed.

We're not going back, says Baby Pierre. 

No we're not, says the tinker. Although you did leave your story behind with the Border Force person.

My story! says Baby Pierre. 

What story? asks Terence.

I wrote a story about how I cycled across the Nullarbor says Baby Pierre. It was a good story.

Was it true? asks Terence. 

It would have been, says Baby Pierre.

Meaning yes? asks Terence.

If I'd actually done it, says Baby Pierre. 

Woop, says Terence.

I wanted to show it to Ouvert, says Baby Pierre. He's in it.

Does he say everything twice? asks Terence.

No, says Baby Pierre. It might not be him. That's part of the story. 

But that means... begins Terence

Enough! says Gaius. You two stay here with Terence while I make some enquiries.

But he doesn't need to.

Two Border Force officers are bearing down on them.

Gaius Plinius Secundus? asks one of the officers.

That is me, says Gaius. Or should I say I am he?

As long as you admit you're the person in question, says the Border Force officer.

I do, says Gaius. And I'm pleased to meet you. I assume there are papers to sign. 

The second Border Force officer whips out some papers.

Gaius takes them.

On the first page is a photo of the Kroombit tinker, a brief description, and a dotted line.

Sign here, says the Border Force officer.

Gaius signs. May we go now?

Unfortunately, no, says the second Border Force Officer. First we need an explanation for these coded writings.

He shows Gaius Baby Pierre's story.

That will be Baby Pierre's story, says Gaius. No doubt harmless. 

We are confiscating it, says the Border Force officer. Please sign this confiscation notice.

What a performance, says Gaius. All right.

He signs.

You're all free to go, says the Border Force Officer. But don't leave the country.

I presume that doesn't prohibit Tasmania? asks Gaius. Because that's where I'm going.

What? says the tinker.

Small Room No Windows

The plane lands in Adelaide.

The flight attendant takes the see-through container from Rosa.

Thank you for looking after the frog, says the flight attendant. You saved us a great deal of trouble.

It was fun, says Rosa. Goodbye tinker, I hope you get back to Kroombit Tops soon. Goodbye Baby Pierre. 

Do you hope anything for me? asks Baby Pierre.

Not really, says Rosa. Well, maybe... I hope Ouvert likes your story.

As if I care, says Baby Pierre.

The flight attendant closes the lid of the see-through container.

The passengers disembark one by one.

The flight attendant takes the see-through container down the ramp to International Arrivals.

Is this it? asks a Border Force officer, who has been waiting.

It's the frog for Mr G P Secundus, says the flight attendant. And there's a pebble in there as well, and a tiny bicycle, also a sheet of paper covered in very small writing. Oh, and the remains of a century egg. You might want to bin that.

Cripes! says the Border Force officer. Thanks for the heads up.

My pleasure, says the flight attendant. 

The Border Force officer takes the see-through container to a small room with no windows and takes off the lid.

Phew! says the Kroombit tinker. Fresh air at last! Where's Gaius?

She hops out.

Not so fast! says the Border Force officer. First we must ascertain your bona fides.

I'm a Kroombit tinker, says the Kroombit tinker. I don't have bona fides.

I know you're a Kroombit tinker, says the Border Force officer. But are you THE Kroombit tinker?

Who else would I be? asks the tinker.

I can vouch for her, says Baby Pierre.

And you are? asks the Border Force officer.

Baby Pierre, says Baby Pierre. Free thinker, elite cyclist, and author.

He wrote this, says the tinker, indicating the paper covered with very small writing.

The Border Force officer starts reading.

What's this? asks the Border Force officer after reading a few lines. The Nullarbor? A village in France? This document needs to go straight to ASIO to be vetted!.

Things are not going well.

Until....

Knock knock.

There's a knock on the door. 

Could it be, against all the odds, Gaius?

No it couldn't.

It's another Border Force officer.

But hey! The door is now open. 

The tinker looks at Baby Pierre.

Baby Pierre grabs his tiny bicycle.

They hop and zoom through the door.

You'll Always Wonder

It's a  good story so far, says the tinker. When is it ending?

When we get there, says Baby Pierre. 

Across the Nullarbor, or all the way to Adelaide? asks the tinker.

When Ouvert and I reach the end of the Nullarbor, says Baby Pierre. 

What happens then? asks the tinker.

Nothing. That's the end, says Baby Pierre.

An anouncement comes through, from the captain. 

We will shortly be arriving in Adelaide where the temperature is a fine twenty six degrees and the time will be....crackle crackle.

Already! says the tinker. That was a short journey.

Six hours, forty five minutes, says Rosa. Not that short. Has Baby Pierre finished his story?

No I haven't, says Baby Pierre. But I will. Where was I?

On a smelly black road, says the tinker. You did a good description. 

But you gave up on the mystery about Ouvert being your cousin, says Rosa. 

I didn't give up, says Baby Pierre. I resolved it.

By saying you didn't care, says Rosa.

And he didn't care, says Baby Pierre. 

Will you be showing the story to Ouvert? asks the tinker.

Maybe one day, says Baby Pierre.

He might not like it, says the tinker.

You should think about that, says Rosa. 

It's my story, says Baby Pierre. 

But you put a real person in it, says Rosa.

It might not be him, says Baby Pierre.

He'll always wonder, says the tinker. I would.

Would you, says Baby Pierre. If what?

If I was in your story, says the tinker.

Why is everyone so annoying ? says Baby Pierre. Shut up and let me write the ending.

He starts to write (very small): We were now approaching the end of the Nullarbor. We had crossed it and not died. This alone was a great achievement. Ouvert thanked me for keeping him motivated, by talking of our shared memories some of which had not even happened. That's all right I said and look who is waiting for us at the end of the Nullarbor, it's a girl frog, or is it? When we drew closer, it was. 

Is that frog supposed to be me? asks the tinker.

You'll always wonder, says Baby Pierre.

Black Cheese-Smelling Road

I told you it would stink, says Baby Pierre.

It's only smells a little bit, says the tinker.

It's probably supposed to, says Rosa. 

They all gaze at the century egg. 

The century egg lies there, black and gelatinous.

I'm going to take a bite, says the tinker. An airline lunch wouldn't be poisonous.

It might be to frogs, says Baby Pierre. 

Do you want me to eat it or not? asks the tinker.

I want you to eat it, sats Baby Pierre. But no burping, after.

I never burp, says the tinker.

Me either, says Rosa. 

Do you want some? asks the tinker.

No thanks, says Rosa. I'm still full from the fried carrot cake and prawn.

This reminds Baby Pierre of his description of the Nullarbor, which he was proud of. 'Like a fried carrot cake'. Perhaps he should incorporate the century egg into his story. 

He starts to write ( very small): Ouvert and I continued to cycle across the Nullarbor The road was hot, black and gelatinous, like a century egg. Strong fumes arose to our nostrils. I asked Ouvert what it reminded him of, he said cheese, I said what sort, not cheddar, he said no, ripe blue cheese. This gave me an idea....

Rosa is reading what he is writing.

I bet I know what it is, says Rosa.

You don't, because I haven't thought of it yet, says Baby Pierre.

Sorry, says Rosa.

She turns to the tinker.

How does it taste?

Kind of like cheese, says the tinker.

What sort? asks Rosa. Not cheddar?

No, says the tinker. Ripe blue cheese.

Wow! says Rosa. That's exactly what Baby Pierre wrote that Ouvert said it smelled like.

Weird, says the tinker, because I don't think it smells like it tastes.

What then? asks Rosa. To me it smells kind of like toilet cleaner.

I wish you hadn't said that, says the tinker.

So do I, says Rosa. It's pretty faint, and there's another smell with it.

Sulphur, says the tinker.

You know a lot about smells, says Rosa. 

I was brought up in a lab, says the tinker. 

Got it! says Baby Pierre.

He writes fast (very small): I asked Ouvert if he remembered the time we went to Wallaroo with Gaius and Arthur. Ouvert said yes why. I said because if you do that proves you're my cousin, and he said okay then I don't. Turns out he didn't care if he wasn't my cousin, and neither did I. We kept on pedalling along the cheese-smelling black egg-like road.

The Space Inside

The flight arttendant has come back with the century egg.

Enjoy, says the flight attendant.

Before you go, says the tinker, may I ask where it's been?

Hong Kong, says the flight attendant. I think that's where we obtain them.

It looks kind of black, says Rosa.

Wait till you cut it open, says the flight attendant. Inside, it's green.

Yuck, says Rosa. No wonder you had some left over.

People don't realise how nice they are, says the flight attendant. They taste salty and creamy.

Are they really a hundred years old? asks Rosa.

Just a few months, says the flight attendant. They preserve them in clay, salt, wood ash and quicklime.

It stinks, says Baby Pierre. Either eat it or ditch it.

I'm going to eat it, says the tinker. And you should get on with your story.

Yes, do, says Rosa. I can't wait to find out if Ouvert is really your cousin.

He is, says Baby Pierre. But the one I met in the Nullarbor might only look like my cousin.

Well I can't wait to find out how you find out, says Rosa.

You won't have to wait long, says Baby Pierre. 

He starts to write (very small):

I thought maybe he'd forgotten, so I said Lavender you remember her, she's a girl and still he didn't so I said she's not really a girl she's an auger, and he said can she tell the future and I said not that kind of auger you're thinking of an augur but she sometimes pretends that she can. He said so what is an auger I said it's a shell, but she's not the shell she's the space inside it, O! says Ouvert THAT Lavender. That's how I knew he was really my cousin. 

And was he? asks Rosa.

I just said he was, says Baby Pierre.

He might only have been saying he remembered, says Rosa. You did give him some clues.

Baby Pierre reads what he has written.

You need to make him say something he remembers her doing, says Rosa.

Okay, says Baby Pierre.

He writes a bit more (very small): Ouvert told me he remembered being lost in a French village with Lavender. It was raining and the bus did not come. They sat on a wet step and pretended to share a picnic. He recalled that the pretend picnic was beans.

That still doesn't prove it, says Rosa. Unless you were there too.

I wasn't, says Baby Pierre. They would never have got lost with me there.

You'll have to think of something he remembers that you remember, says Rosa. That would prove it.

Rosa is becoming annoying.

And it doesn't help that the century egg is producing foul fumes.

Century Egg

Right. Back to the Nullarbor, says Baby Pierre. So where was I?

More than half way across, says the tinker.

With a bag full of rock samples, says Rosa.

Which Ouvert was carrying, says the tinker.

I remember, says Baby Pierre. 

The light is good in the see-through container, on Rosa's lap. 

He reads what he's written so far

Perfect. And he has not once used the rubber.

The flight attendant comes by.

How's the frog doing? asks the flight attendant.

Good, says Rosa. She ate some of my prawn.

Would she like something else? asks the flight attendant.

I'll ask her, says Rosa. 

She asks the tinker: Would you like another prawn?

Not a prawn, says the flight attendant. None left. I can offer a century egg. Do you think frogs eat those?

I'll ask her, says Rosa. She asks.

That depends, says the tinker. Is it a left-over?

Well yes, says the flight attendant, but only from lunch.

Okay, says the tinker. 

Good, says the flight attendant. I'll be back in a minute.

She walks away.

I'm having a century egg, says the tinker.

Woo-hoo! says Baby Pierre. A hundred year old egg! That'll be even more stinky than the prawn was.

Not necessarily, says the tinker. It's not really a hundred. It's only left over from lunch.

But before that, where was it? asks Baby Pierre.

I suppose I should ask, says the tinker.

Yes, but shut up for now, says Baby Pierre. I'm writing the next part.

He writes (very small): By this time, Ouvert and I were three quarters of the way across the Nullarbor, each thinking our own thoughts, mine were about Ouvert, was he really my cousin? the Ouvert who remembered the carrot wasn't my real cousin he just looked like him, same weird expression, two mouths, one open one always smiling, but he did not do that thing where he said everything twice. I decided to test him. Remember Lavender? I asked, and guess what, he couldn't remember.

Baby Pierre is pleased with what he has written. A mystery. Hey-ah! He breathes in.

And smells something bad.

Rambling Nature

Why did you say apparently? asks Rosa.

Because I wasn't there then, says Baby Pierre. Ouvert and I had our own problems.

Where were you? asks the tinker.

I was working as a stand-in doorman, says Baby Pierre. The real doorman was a friend of Ageless lobster, and he gave me the job. 

Was he also a lobster? asks the tinker.

Yes, says Baby Pierre.

So how do you know what happened to the carrot? asks Rosa.

How do you even know it wrote a note? asks the tinker.

I learned of it later, says Baby Pierre. From  an oyster-catcher by the name of Roo-kai.

How did the oystercatcher know? asks Rosa.

He was there, says Baby Pierre. Now shut up, I want to keep writing this story.

He continues to write (very small):

Who could deny the half carrot its last wishes? Ouvert and I found a box. It was decorated with birds and flowers, and smelled of soap. We placed the carrot in the box and dropped it into the river, where it floated out to sea.  An oystercatcher we knew offered to watch over it. He had his own reasons. His hero Saint Roley had once lost a brother at sea.

Did the oystercatcher see the carrot write the note? asks the tinker.

Must have, says Baby Pierre.

Where did you find the box? asks Rosa.

In the house where I was working as a stand-in doorman, says Baby Pierre.

So far, he has come up an answer for everything. 

But it's getting harder.

What happened to the brother? asks Rosa, who likes the rambling nature of Baby Pierre's story.

No one knows, says Baby Pierre. But it was so long ago, it's safe to say that he drowned.

Was he in a boat? asks Rosa.

He was on a disintegrating piece of cardboard, says Baby Pierre. 

Did he have a compass? asks the tinker.

There was a THIS WAY UP  finger on the cardboard, says Baby Pierre. You can imagine how reliable it was.

How dreadful, says Rosa. What made him even think a THIS WAY UP finger would be useful?

He was young, says Baby Pierre. And had been brought up by saints. He thought the pointing finger was telling him something.

Now I'm going to tell you something, says the tinker.

What? asks Baby Pierre.

Time to get back to the Nullarbor, says the tinker.  

Oh yes, says Rosa. You and your cousin were crossing the Nullarbor. I'd forgotten.

Baby Pierre realises he has strayed too far from the main narrative.

He should go back to the Nullarbor.

And avoid further diversions.

Whirring Up The Past

Baby Pierre is pleased that Rosa and the tinker like his story. 

It seems they respond well to pathos.

He tries to remember more sad facts regarding the carrot.

Yes, he and Ouvert were on their way to Le Havre, but why? And why with a carrot?

What's wrong? asks the tinker.

Nothing, says Baby Pierre. I'm just trying to remember more stuff about the carrot. But it eludes me.

Try self-hypnosis, says the tinker.

Good idea, says Baby Pierre. Ommmm.

Why is he saying Ommmm? asks Rosa.

Shh, says the tinker.

Baby Pierre's eyes roll back in his head. He falls into a trance, remembering Le Havre.

The carrot was only half a carrot, by the time they got there. The bottom half had been eaten by the knowlesi, and Quiet tartus, the two madcap frogs. And Terence and Belle had been with them.  And they had met up with Saints Meen and Maclou...... 

And then what?

Baby Pierre had been offered a job in the Shipowner's House in Le Havre. 

So it was only later that he learned the rest of the story.

Wake up, Baby Pierre! says the tinker. Did it work?

Yes, says Baby Pierre. I now remember what really happened.

Cool! says Rosa. Write some more of the story.

Baby Pierre writes (very small): Ouvert said he didn't remember a bird ate the carrot, and that made me wonder. What were my memories of that carrot? Soon the whirring of my o-wheels began to stir up the past. Ommmm...

That's a good touch, says the tinker. O-wheels and ommmm

I know, says Baby Pierre. He continues to write (very small):

I remembered the poor carrot had been half-eaten by two friends of ours, who were frogs. When it reached Le Havre we fished it out of the water and took it to Saint Meen and Saint Maclou. They gave it the power to communicate and it wrote, TAK ME BAC TO THE RIV AND TRUE ME IN. 

It wrote a note? asks Rosa.

Apparently, says Baby Pierre. The saints must have lent it a pen.

All Prawny

 Rosa has finished her fried carrot cake and prawn. 

The flight attendant has taken the eco-friendly cardboard box and food scraps away.

But Rosa has retained the prawn tail.

She tips up her tray, and lifts the see-through container from under the seat in front of her.

She opens the lid and drops the prawn tail inside.

Thanks, Rosa! says the Kroombit tinker.

Yuck! It stinks! says Baby Pierre. Hurry up and eat it.

The tinker tries, but the soft part is wedged inside the prawn tail.

I can't get it out, says the tinker. Give me the pencil.

No way! says Baby Pierre.

You have to! says the tinker. If I can't get it out I can't eat it.

Okay then, says Baby Pierre.

The tinker takes the pencil and pokes it around in the prawn tail. 

She winkles the soft part out and eats it.

Thanks, you can have the pencil back now, says the tinker.

It's all prawny! says Baby Pierre

Rosa opens the lid again.

How was the prawn tail?

Yum, says the tinker, but could you clean Baby Pierre's pencil? 

Sure, says Rosa. How's his story going?

He's introducing a carrot, says the tinker.

To the Nullarbor? asks Rosa.

I know, says the tinker. But he's getting around it.

Give me the pencil, says Baby Pierre. 

Rosa wipes it on her leggings and gives him the pencil.

Baby Pierre writes (very small):

Ouvert and I continued our journey, the desert was hot and orange, it's like a fried carrot cake I said except it goes on and on. Ouvert was impressed with my evocative analogy. He said do you remember the time we were going to Le Havre, with that old wrinkled carrot? yes I said it was floating downstream while we tried to control it with string.......did we make it? asked Ouvert, yes we made it I said, but the carrot didn't, I think a bird ate it.

I LOVE this story says Rosa.

Me too, but I'm sad for the carrot, says the tinker.

I Once Knew A Carrot

Baby Pierre realises the tinker has asked a trick question.

He needs time to think of an answer.

Luckily it's time for an in-flight meal to be served.

My food's coming, says Rosa. My parents want me to put you under the seat again.

Go ahead, says Baby Pierre. 

You won't be able to write anything, says Rosa.

What a pity, says Baby Pierre.

Rosa closes the lid of the see-through container and shoves it under the seat in front of her. Then she pulls down her tray.

Her food arrives, packed in eco-friendly cardboard.

Fried carrot cake with prawn.

She wonders if the tinker would like to share it. Poor tinker. She only has those dead flies.

Rosa slides down under her tray and opens the lid of the see-through container.

That was quick, says the tinker. 

I haven't started, says Rosa. I was wondering if you'd like me to save you some fried carrot cake with prawn.

Um... says the tinker. Maybe a small piece of prawn.

Okay, says Rosa, replacing the lid and sliding back up to her seat.

What was that about? asks her mother.

I asked the tinker if she wants me to save her some prawn, says Rosa. 

That was kind of you, says her mother.

Rosa eats her fried carrot cake and prawn, leaving the prawn tail.

It is dark in the see-through container.

The tinker is eating a fly.

They taste better if you can't see them, says the tinker.

At least you have something to do, says Baby Pierre. This is boring.

You should be thinking of an answer to my question, says the tinker.

I've moved on, says Baby Pierre. 

So you admit that echy sounds exactly like echi, says the tinker.

It depends how you say it, says Baby Pierre.

It does NOT, says the tinker.

Shut up and eat your dead fly, says Baby Pierre.

Okay, says the tinker. 

How come you didn't want any fried carrot cake? asks Baby Pierre.

I don't like fried carrot, says the tinker.

I once knew a carrot, says Baby Pierre. It was floating down a river in France, all wrinkled.

Had it been fried? asks the tinker.

No, but I might put it in my story, says Baby Pierre.

That would be crazy, says the tinker. What would a carrot be doing in the Nullarbor?

It wouldn't have to BE in the Nullarbor, says Baby Pierre. Me and Ouvert could remember it.

I suppose so, says the tinker. It might be more intriguing than a talking echinoid.

See what you did there? asks Baby Pierre.

What did I do? asks the tinker.

You said echinoid, with an i, says Baby Pierre. And I could tell.

The tinker sighs, and swallows her fly.