Despondence

Despondence in the Team Gymnosophy camp! Gymnosopher Ten has not gained the ochre jersey at the end of Stage Four. To know why, we must return to Cibo's in Norwood yesterday morning, where Marie and Angel are chatting with Lance Armstrong over an expresso.

Lance Armstrong: So, hard answers eh? That's the wisest thing I've heard all week. If not all year. You are one smart cookie, Angel.

Angel: Thanks.

Marie: Ahem.

Lance Armstrong: Well, better be off, the race starts soon.

Marie: Hasn't it started already?

Lance Armstrong: No, that was the Community Challenge. They set off a couple of hours ago..

Marie: Oh dear. I must call my uncle. He and Gym Ten are riding in the wrong race!

Lance Armstrong: Hey, tough luck! I hope they get back in time for the start.

******

Stage Five, the next day, McLaren Vale to Willunga. Marie and Angel are riding at the front of the peloton. The Velodrone and Gym Ten are lagging towards the rear. Lance Armstrong is somewhere in the middle.

Angel: I can't help feeling responsible.

Marie: No, it was their own fault. They should have noticed that everyone was wearing yellow.

Angel: And looked like a different class of rider entirely.

Marie: Yes. They were too busy talking philosophy I bet. By the way Angel, can I ask you something? Do you answer all questions the same?

Angel: With hard answers? Yes.

******

Meanwhile, further back:

Lance Armstrong: And this guy said "Hard questions have hard answers". How brilliant is that?

Robbie McEwen: Man, that's awesome!


******

Meanwhile, even further back:

The VeloDrone: Don't look so grim.

Gym Ten: I feel like giving up.

The VeloDrone: Come, come, remember you are a Gymnosopher, and you are riding a magnificent bicycle, a gift from Alexander as a reward for your wisdom.

Gym Ten: Yes.......but I've lost the ochre jersey and now Angel is in front.

The VeloDrone: Exactly! So now, Gym Ten, it's time to use our noggins!

Tour Down Under

The Tour Down Under is on again in Adelaide. Let's see if anyone we know is here.

Yes! Over there is The VeloDrone, with an attractive young lady. Oh! It's Marie, his niece, otherwise known as Madam Denis. They have new bicycles, and a new team, judging by the colours. Let's get nearer. Team Gymnosophy, well there's a surprise. They seem to be looking for someone.

The VeloDrone: Where are they?

Madam Denis: I'm sure they'll be here in a minute. Don't fuss.

The VeloDrone: I'm not fussing, but well..... yes I am! I knew it was a mistake to team up with Gymnosophers. They don't have that killer instinct. They may not turn up at all.

Madam Denis: Anyone would think you had a killer instinct.

The VeloDrone: I like a good contest, that's all. Where are they?

Madam Denis: Here they come now! Oh my! Look at them!

The VeloDrone: For heaven's sake!

Enter two Gymnosophers, wheeling their bicycles and not wearing any clothes.

Gymnosopher Ten ( for it is he): Hello! Are we late? Sorry!

Gymnosopher Five: ( for it is he): Yes, my fault entirely. I couldn't find my drink bottle.

The VeloDrone: Never mind that! Haven't you forgotten something?

Madam Denis: Pockets, for example?

Gymnosopher Ten: We do without pockets. And may I ask why you are clothed in luxurious Lycra?

The VeloDrone: There is nothing luxurious about it. In fact it is quite uncomfortable. Mine feels particularly tight this year.

Madam Denis: That is because you have not done your preparation.

Gymnosopher Five: He hasn't?

Madam Denis: No, he hasn't.

The VeloDrone: Yes I have, I have been eating carrots all week.

Gymnosopher Ten: Luxuriousness!

Madam Denis: Well, now gentlemen, if we are going to be an effective team, we must all work together, don't you think?

Gymnosopher Five: Hear, hear!

Madam Denis: I'm glad to hear you say that.

Gymnosopher Five: I am more flexible, being the younger of the two.

Madam Denis: I can see that!

The VeloDrone: Marie! Behave yourself! Come on! Let's get over to the starting line. Nice bicycles you Gymnosophers have, by the way.

Gymnosopher Ten: Thanks. They're Alexanders.