Goodbye to the Tour

The Tour Down Under is over for another year, and it's time for everyone to go home.

The VeloDrone: Well, Gym Ten and Angel, that was most enjoyable.

Gym Ten: I'm glad you think so.

Angel: I would have liked to have been King of the Mountain.

Gym Ten: I would have liked the ochre jersey.

The VeloDrone: You would have had it, but for the scruples of Marie.

Marie: Some things are more important than winning.

The VeloDrone: Of course, of course. Tell me again what they are?

Marie: I've just been chatting with the Premier Mike Rann, and the race organiser Mike Turtur. They're going to ask you to be next year's big drawcard. What do you think of that?

The VeloDrone: Me?

Marie: Yes, I told them who you were.

Angel: Why? Who is he?

Marie: He's The VeloDrone, also known as the great philosopher Voltaire. I thought you knew.

Gym Ten: No! We only knew him as The VeloDrone. Well, well! Pleased to meet you, Monsieur Voltaire.

The VeloDrone: Oh, no need to make a fuss.

Mike Rann and Mike Turtur stroll over and join the group.

Mike Rann: Hello Monsieur Voltaire, may I say what a pleasure......

The VeloDrone: Likewise. A pleasure. And what do you want?

Marie: Uncle!

Mike Rann: We want you to consider being our big drawcard for the Tour Down Under next year. As you know, Lance Armstrong won't be here......

Mike Turtur: Wait a minute. Weren't you the chap who was involved in the head butting incident? In fact weren't all of you in it?

The VeloDrone: What if we were?

Mike Turtur: Then we would have to decline your offer.

The VeloDrone: Ridiculous! We haven't applied. Marie! I wish you had not drawn attention to us.

Marie: Well, what about me? I was the one who put a stop to it all. I would make a good drawcard.

Mike Rann ( staring at Marie ): But.... you are a woman.

Mike Turtur ( staring also ): Yes you are.

Marie: Yes, I am.

Angel: Yes, she is.

Gym Ten: Some drawcard she would be.

The VeloDrone: Come, Marie. To our bikes!

They mount, and pedal away.

Despondence

Despondence in the Team Gymnosophy camp! Gymnosopher Ten has not gained the ochre jersey at the end of Stage Four. To know why, we must return to Cibo's in Norwood yesterday morning, where Marie and Angel are chatting with Lance Armstrong over an expresso.

Lance Armstrong: So, hard answers eh? That's the wisest thing I've heard all week. If not all year. You are one smart cookie, Angel.

Angel: Thanks.

Marie: Ahem.

Lance Armstrong: Well, better be off, the race starts soon.

Marie: Hasn't it started already?

Lance Armstrong: No, that was the Community Challenge. They set off a couple of hours ago..

Marie: Oh dear. I must call my uncle. He and Gym Ten are riding in the wrong race!

Lance Armstrong: Hey, tough luck! I hope they get back in time for the start.

******

Stage Five, the next day, McLaren Vale to Willunga. Marie and Angel are riding at the front of the peloton. The Velodrone and Gym Ten are lagging towards the rear. Lance Armstrong is somewhere in the middle.

Angel: I can't help feeling responsible.

Marie: No, it was their own fault. They should have noticed that everyone was wearing yellow.

Angel: And looked like a different class of rider entirely.

Marie: Yes. They were too busy talking philosophy I bet. By the way Angel, can I ask you something? Do you answer all questions the same?

Angel: With hard answers? Yes.

******

Meanwhile, further back:

Lance Armstrong: And this guy said "Hard questions have hard answers". How brilliant is that?

Robbie McEwen: Man, that's awesome!


******

Meanwhile, even further back:

The VeloDrone: Don't look so grim.

Gym Ten: I feel like giving up.

The VeloDrone: Come, come, remember you are a Gymnosopher, and you are riding a magnificent bicycle, a gift from Alexander as a reward for your wisdom.

Gym Ten: Yes.......but I've lost the ochre jersey and now Angel is in front.

The VeloDrone: Exactly! So now, Gym Ten, it's time to use our noggins!

Norwood to Strathalbyn

Stage Four of the Tour Down Under, from Norwood to Strathalbyn. The VeloDrone and Gymnosopher Ten are well out in front. Gymnosopher Ten has the ochre jersey in his sights.

The VeloDrone: Will you wear it, if you win it?

Gymnosopher Ten: Yes, I think I will, but first things first. I need some Powerade.

The VeloDrone: I'll call Marie. ( He gets out his phone ). Marie! Send Angel up to the front with some Powerade, will you. What's that? Oh! Outrageous! Tell him to get a move on. And you too.

Gymnosopher Ten: What's up?

The VeloDrone: They're still in Norwood, drinking expressos.

Gymnosopher Ten: Ah the young....

The VeloDrone: Marie is not that young.

Gymnosopher Ten: Nor is Angel. And he's getting a bit up himself lately, I've observed.

The VeloDrone: How so?

Gymnosopher Ten: Resting on his laurels. Always same answer. Hard questions have hard answers. Yes, we KNOW. But the girls seem to love him.

The VeloDrone: Jealous?

Gymnosopher Ten: Just wait till I get that ochre jersey. I'll show you jealous.

The VeloDrone: Hee hee!!