Nothing

Marie is back at the office, telling Belle et Bonne all about the Tour Down Under.

Belle et Bonne: Tell me everything, Marie. Did you meet anyone?

Marie: I met Angel. He was interesting.....at first. He was a Gymnosopher, and he didn't wear any clothes.

Belle et Bonne: Ooh! Was he attractive?

Marie: Yes he was. At first he was very austere, and didn't eat or drink or wear anything, and he answered deep philosophical questions wisely. I actually thought I was in love with him.

Belle et Bonne: What went wrong?

Marie: I realised he always gave the same answer. And he became more and more competitive, wanting to win King of the Mountain and all that whatnot.

Belle et Bonne: Boring! And how was papa?

Marie: Oh, he was his usual self........

The VeloDrone pokes his head around the door.

Belle et Bonne: Oh papa! we were just talking about you.

The VeloDrone: Head butting is NOT cheating, you know!

Marie: Uncle! I never mentioned it!

Belle et Bonne: Papa! were you cheating?

The VeloDrone: Everyone was.

Marie: No they weren't.

Belle et Bonne: Did your Angel do it?

Marie: Yes, both the Gymnosophers did it.

The VeloDrone: We were using our noggins.

Belle et Bonne: How embarrassing. Well I don't suppose you can ever go back to Adelaide again.

The VeloDrone: On the contrary, we are all going back next month for the Fringe!

Le Bon David pops his head round the door.

Belle et Bonne: Uncle David! We're all going to the Adelaide Fringe!

Le Bon David: I heard.

The VeloDrone: What else did you hear?

Le Bon David: Oh nothing, my friend. But...... nothing.

Goodbye to the Tour

The Tour Down Under is over for another year, and it's time for everyone to go home.

The VeloDrone: Well, Gym Ten and Angel, that was most enjoyable.

Gym Ten: I'm glad you think so.

Angel: I would have liked to have been King of the Mountain.

Gym Ten: I would have liked the ochre jersey.

The VeloDrone: You would have had it, but for the scruples of Marie.

Marie: Some things are more important than winning.

The VeloDrone: Of course, of course. Tell me again what they are?

Marie: I've just been chatting with the Premier Mike Rann, and the race organiser Mike Turtur. They're going to ask you to be next year's big drawcard. What do you think of that?

The VeloDrone: Me?

Marie: Yes, I told them who you were.

Angel: Why? Who is he?

Marie: He's The VeloDrone, also known as the great philosopher Voltaire. I thought you knew.

Gym Ten: No! We only knew him as The VeloDrone. Well, well! Pleased to meet you, Monsieur Voltaire.

The VeloDrone: Oh, no need to make a fuss.

Mike Rann and Mike Turtur stroll over and join the group.

Mike Rann: Hello Monsieur Voltaire, may I say what a pleasure......

The VeloDrone: Likewise. A pleasure. And what do you want?

Marie: Uncle!

Mike Rann: We want you to consider being our big drawcard for the Tour Down Under next year. As you know, Lance Armstrong won't be here......

Mike Turtur: Wait a minute. Weren't you the chap who was involved in the head butting incident? In fact weren't all of you in it?

The VeloDrone: What if we were?

Mike Turtur: Then we would have to decline your offer.

The VeloDrone: Ridiculous! We haven't applied. Marie! I wish you had not drawn attention to us.

Marie: Well, what about me? I was the one who put a stop to it all. I would make a good drawcard.

Mike Rann ( staring at Marie ): But.... you are a woman.

Mike Turtur ( staring also ): Yes you are.

Marie: Yes, I am.

Angel: Yes, she is.

Gym Ten: Some drawcard she would be.

The VeloDrone: Come, Marie. To our bikes!

They mount, and pedal away.

Stage Six: A Close Run Thing

It is the last day of the Tour Down Under, and the course is a street circuit in Adelaide. The VeloDrone and Gym Ten are putting everything into it. They are riding at the head of the peloton.

The VeloDrone: This is more like it. Are you ready for the breakaway?

Gym Ten: Yes. It's much better with a helmet.

The VeloDrone: I told you it would be. Okay, lets go!

*****

Meanwhile Marie and Angel are not too far behind. Angel has his eye on winning King of the Mountain, Adelaide's Montefiore Hill being rather small. Marie is encouraging him.

Marie: It's quite small.

Angel: Yes, but I have to do it twenty times.

Marie: So does everyone else.

Angel: You're a brick, Marie.

Marie: What did you call me?

Angel ( pulling away): Never mind!

*****

The VeloDrone and Gym Ten have not been in front for long when the rest of the peloton catches up. Mattie Gosse, Cameron Meyer and Angel are all jostling for position. Angel is level with Gym Ten. Some vigorous elbowing begins.

The VeloDrone: Ouch! Get away!

Gym Ten: Head butt him!

The VeloDrone: I'm trying!

Angel: Ouch! Head butting is illegal. I'm reporting you!

Marie ( who has made a great effort and caught up ): This is reprehensible! Stop it at once!

Gym Ten: No! We're not going to.

Marie: Oh, yes you are.

She sticks out her foot.

Her team mates all tumble off their bicycles clearing the way for Cameron Meyer, who goes on to win.

Well done him.