Kamikaze, Silent Disco and Moon.

On Saturday night they take one last walk around the Fringe. It is warm and humid, the moon is high in the sky, the air filled with screams emanating from the Kamikaze ride.

The VeloDrone: I always meant to go on that Kamikaze ride.

Belle et Bonne: Why didn't you?

The VeloDrone: I went on the Ferris wheel, and after that things got rather hectic.

Le Bon David: I always meant to go into the Wax Hand tent and get a wax hand made. A red one.

Marie: I was going to buy some frilly knickers from Frilly Knickers.

Belle et Bonne: We can still do all those things. Let's go into the Garden. Oh dear! Look at the length of the queue!

The VeloDrone: Let's go over to Gluttony instead. There won't be a queue.

They wander over to Gluttony. It is ill-lit. There are statues of pigs. People are sitting at tables under the trees on low seats and cushions, drinking and talking. Everyone is waiting for the Silent Disco to begin.

Belle et Bonne: Let's do the Silent Disco!

Marie: Yes, let's!

Le Bon David: How is it done?

Marie: You wear headphones and dance. Only the dancers can hear the music. To everyone else it looks strange.

The VeloDrone: I should like to do that.

So they put on their headphones and dance. And here we shall leave them, silently dancing at Gluttony under the yellow half moon, farewelling the Fringe.

Marie's List

The philosophers are at Semaphore Beach, the day after seeing their final Fringe show, Free Fall. They are walking along in the shallows, which are patterned with a fine brown silt.

Belle et Bonne: I feel a little sad today. We have no more shows to go to. Soon it will be time to go home.

Marie: Me too. But Free Fall was good, wasn't it.

Belle et Bonne: It was magic. I was totally entranced.

The VeloDrone: So was I! In fact, I feel like doing a somersault!

Le Bon David; Don't, Vello! You're not as young as those young acrobats last night.

The VeloDrone: No need to remind me. Ah the young! So fearless and brave, so beautiful. So heartbreaking.

Belle et Bonne: I know what you mean, papa. But it's not that they're fearless. They faced up to their fears.

Marie: What did you say when they asked you what you were afraid of?

Belle et Bonne: I said, losing my sense of smell.

The VeloDrone: Really? I sometimes wish I could lose mine. Such as when we were having a drink in the alley bar next to the drain.

Le Bon David: Yes that was a bit on the nose. What are you afraid of Vello?

The VeloDrone: I'm afraid of being thought a fool.

Le Bon David: You ought to have got used to it by now! Just joking. Shall I tell you what I'm afraid of?

Marie: Women.

Le Bon David: How do you know?

Marie: Because you are always excessively polite to them.

Le Bon David: Hum hum. Oh well they always say if you want to understand a philosopher you must first find out what he is afraid of. What are you afraid of Marie?

Marie: Oh, quicksand, drowning, burning, and dogs.

Belle et Bonne: That's impressive, Marie! You must be the best philosopher of us all.

Is Vello Bored?

The VeloDrone is bemoaning the fate of his hat.

The VeloDrone: It's ruined. I loved that hat.

Marie: I'm sure we can clean it up.

Belle et Bonne: Yes, I'll buy some Napi-San. That'll fix it.

The VeloDrone: It was an Akha Hilltribe hat. It made me feel like an adventurer. It made me feel like Candide.

Le Bon David: Oh, that's what this is all about, is it? Candide!

The VeloDrone: Yes, the young innocent abroad, exposing life's absurdity. Bus drivers for example. Why did he have to stop the bus?

Marie: He thought you were behaving strangely.

The VeloDrone: It was his fault. He kept staring at me. He should have been looking where he was going. I just gave him something to look at.

Marie: You ate all the blackberries. And then you threw up.

The VeloDrone: I don't like them. Anyway, perhaps I was bored.

Le Bon David: I wouldn't be surprised. When the dickens is our next Fringe show?

Belle et Bonne: Tomorrow night. Dr Professor Neil Portenza at the Tuxedo Cat.

The VeloDrone: Tomorrow!

Belle et Bonne: Well, you wouldn't have been going anywhere tonight, papa, looking like that.

The VeloDrone: Why? What do I look like?

Belle et Bonne ( handing him a mirror) : Your hair is bright red and full of little black pulpy seeds, and your face is stained with blackberry juice where it dripped down under your hat.

The VeloDrone: I look alright, in fact I look quite interesting. And I have an idea. Come on everyone! Get dressed, we're going out tonight after all!

The Twittering Machine

The philosophers are in Adelaide, for the Fringe. Marie and Belle et Bonne are waiting for The VeloDrone and Le Bon David at the backpacker hostel where the four of them are staying.

The VeloDrone and Le Bon David enter the common room.

The VeloDrone: Hello my dears! We've just seen a wonderful show. It had a bicycle in it!

Le Bon David: And it was free!

Marie: What was it called?

The VeloDrone: The Twittering Machine. A man sat on a bicycle, a bell rang, a birdcage came down over his head and he began tweeting like a bird.

Belle et Bonne: That sounds very silly.

Le Bon David: Oh, that was only the beginning. He got off the bicycle and set up an elaborate machine. Then he put his finger into a mousetrap.....

Marie: Why would anybody put their finger into a mousetrap?

The VeloDrone: In the interests of science, my dear. The snapping of the mousetrap set off a series of events involving a mechanical duck, a bow and arrow, a boxing glove, a basketball, a mop and other things too numerous to mention. The series of events ended with four eggs dropping simultaneously into four glasses of water.

Le Bon David: A brilliant demonstration!

Belle et Bonne: Of what? You two are easily pleased. But you did better than us. We went looking for the installation on level two, 50 Rundle Mall.

The VeloDrone: Isn't that Spotlight?

Marie: Yes, how do you know? Oh, is that where you two bought the material for your costumes?

Le Bon David: The ill-fated costumes.

The VeloDrone: Who knew it would rain in Adelaide on Fringe Opening night ? Anyway, how was your installation?

Belle et Bonne: Almost indistinguishable from the other bolts of cloth and dummies. Basically that was what it was.

Marie: Yes, disappointing.

The VeloDrone: Perhaps you have the wrong attitude my dears. You need to enter into the spirit of things, at the Fringe. Everything is fun, fun, fun. And now I think we should all put on our raincoats and go and visit the Garden of Unearthly Delights.

Nothing

Marie is back at the office, telling Belle et Bonne all about the Tour Down Under.

Belle et Bonne: Tell me everything, Marie. Did you meet anyone?

Marie: I met Angel. He was interesting.....at first. He was a Gymnosopher, and he didn't wear any clothes.

Belle et Bonne: Ooh! Was he attractive?

Marie: Yes he was. At first he was very austere, and didn't eat or drink or wear anything, and he answered deep philosophical questions wisely. I actually thought I was in love with him.

Belle et Bonne: What went wrong?

Marie: I realised he always gave the same answer. And he became more and more competitive, wanting to win King of the Mountain and all that whatnot.

Belle et Bonne: Boring! And how was papa?

Marie: Oh, he was his usual self........

The VeloDrone pokes his head around the door.

Belle et Bonne: Oh papa! we were just talking about you.

The VeloDrone: Head butting is NOT cheating, you know!

Marie: Uncle! I never mentioned it!

Belle et Bonne: Papa! were you cheating?

The VeloDrone: Everyone was.

Marie: No they weren't.

Belle et Bonne: Did your Angel do it?

Marie: Yes, both the Gymnosophers did it.

The VeloDrone: We were using our noggins.

Belle et Bonne: How embarrassing. Well I don't suppose you can ever go back to Adelaide again.

The VeloDrone: On the contrary, we are all going back next month for the Fringe!

Le Bon David pops his head round the door.

Belle et Bonne: Uncle David! We're all going to the Adelaide Fringe!

Le Bon David: I heard.

The VeloDrone: What else did you hear?

Le Bon David: Oh nothing, my friend. But...... nothing.