Easy Beats

Gustave was not without influence in Paris. In a matter of hours Team Bumptious found itself booked on a flight to France, flying business class, with their bicycles professionally packed.

Now Violetta, said Gustave. I trust you will not be bringing your paints.

Yes, said Violetta.

Gustave left it at that.

The VeloDrone too was not without influence. He had secured a free flight for Team Philosophe including four bicycles on the same plane as Team Bumptious.

There was a tricky moment at the boarding gate when it was noticed that one of the team members was a dog.

May I see your ticket? asked the flight attendant.

Certainly, said Farky, showing his ticket, and a letter from Nicholas Sarkozy.

Welcome aboard, Mr MacTaggart, said the flight attendant. I hope you enjoy your flight.

Look over there, whispered Sweezus. Who's that?

Where? said Farky, looking around.

There, said Sweezus. Fat man with the mo, with the skinny guy in the toga and the woman with the massive bag.

I know who that is, said Le Bon David. That's Gustave Flaubert, the well-known writer. And that's his team, Team Bumptious. They're riding in the Tour.

They look like easy beats, said Sweezus.

Don't underestimate them, said The VeloDrone.

Losing Italy

Tomatoes! But Pliny, you won't eat tomatoes. Does this mean you tried the bean soup?

Certainly not, I am merely reminding you that the recipe for bean soup generally includes tomatoes. They give it a more appetising colour. One does not always need to taste a dish to detect that something is missing. How is your poem, by the way, have you finished the second verse?

Yes, do you want to hear it?

Please.

Alright, the second verse goes like this:

Alors tu m'ecrivais enfin
De la famille, amies, copain,
Petits enfants, les belles vacance
En Espagne, en Italie, en France.

Hmmm, said Pliny. I don't know much French, but I think I understood the last line. What is your translation?

Sometimes you would write to me
Of friends and boyfriends, family,
Grandchildren, and the grand romance
Of holidays in Spain and France.

What happened to Italie? asked Pliny.

I had to leave it out. Scansion.

Why not leave it out of the French?

Then that wouldn't scan. And besides, she did go there. What do you think of it otherwise?

I think, said Pliny, that your translation must be very loose, but that does not much matter. More importantly, it lacks colour, like your soup. However, it is only the second verse, there is still time to add a bit more pepper.