The Delights of Cycling

My fault? said Gaius. What is my fault?

Talking about the music hall Violetta, with no arms and legs. No wonder she legged it.

Yes that was unfortunate, said Gaius.

It was! said Gustave, crossly. You have spoiled my intrigue with Violetta. She had suggested some sort of combination.

Nonsense, said Gaius. She merely wants to ride with us tomorrow and then show us something interesting. I wonder what it can be?

If she turns up in lycra, I know what it will be, said Gustave.

Tch!, said Gaius.

The next morning they met at Cibo's in Norwood. Violetta was wearing baggy shorts, and a loose fitting sweater, and wheeling a bicycle.

Is that your bicycle? asked Gustave.

Yes, is there something wrong with it? asked Violetta.

No, no, said Gustave. Only it isn't exactly a racing bicycle.

Don't you worry about that, said Violetta. I ride fast. And wait till you see what's in my wicker basket.

What? asked Gaius.

Later, said Violetta.

They drank their coffees and set off down The Parade, Gaius and Gustave trying hard to keep up with Violetta, who soon disappeared out of sight.

We've lost her, puffed Gaius. Now we'll never know what was in her wicker basket.

I'm beginning not to care, said Gustave, breathing hard.

Just then Violetta appeared, looking stern.

Just as I thought, she said. You two are not serious. Let us repair to a park bench and start on my picnic. After that, we are going to look at some graffiti!

Picnic! cried Gaius. How civilised !

Graffiti! said Gustave. How.....random.

Clare to Tanunda

The VeloDrone and Le Bon David are in Clare this morning for the start of the first stage of the Tour Down Under. Le Bon David is in a silly mood.

Le Bon David: I wonda who wonda Tour Down Unda in Tanunda?

The VeloDrone: Very funny David, except they won't have started yet.

Le Bon David: By thunda what a blunda!

The VeloDrone: David, if I didn't know you better I'd think that you'd been drinking.

Le Bon David: Well I have. This region is famous for its lovely wines. And honey too. I've been eating lashings of delightful honey, drizzled all over my breakfast toast. I'm quite sticky.

The VeloDrone: Lucky you're not driving then. By the way, did you find out anything about the gentleman with his pockets full of stones?

Le Bon David: Hee Hee! You won't believe it!

The VeloDrone: What! What! Tell me.

Le Bon David: It was our old friend Professor Freud. I knew as soon as I heard his German accent, even though he was dressed in a ridiculous suit of Lycra and didn't look like his usual self at all.

The VeloDrone: Lycra? With the pockets full of stones?

Le Bon David: Yes, he seems to have had special pockets let in.

The VeloDrone: Did you find out what he was up to?

Le Bon David: (doubtfully) I think so. He was trying to give a stone to any of the riders who would take one. But he wasn't having any luck.

The VeloDrone: I'm not surprised. It would slow them down no end. What the devil can it mean?

Le Bon David: There he is! Let's go over and see what we can learn.