I Don't Think it's True

You're in luck, said Gaius. It happens that I found a tin of biscuits on the beach this evening.

Baby Pierre and Lavender looked at one another.

It's Ageless's tin of yam biscuits, said Lavender.

Yam biscuits! said Anoctopus. Let me try one.

He took a tiny yam biscuit from the tin with one of his tentacles and inserted it carefully into his beak.

Ahuchhghh, he said, trying to swallow the crumbs without choking. Anyone else want one?

No thanks, said everyone else.

Well, I'll get on with the story, said Anoctopus:

The octopus was becoming more and more like a man. He said to the woman, let's go and visit my brothers in law. What's happened to my octopus? said the woman. They went to visit the brothers in law.

One day the octopus went out to sea. He made a big mistake and picked a fight with a whale. The whale killed him.

The woman went back to the sea to visit the octopus's relatives. A short time after that she died.

When the young octopuses grew big they decided to get their revenge. They went into the sea looking for the whale. They fought the whale and killed it. They killed it for their mother's brothers.

After that they went back to the sea for good and their uncles never saw them again.

That's the end.

Anoctopus looked at his audience. So, what did you think of my story?

You said it was true, said Lavender. I don't think it's true.

Neither do I, said Baby Pierre. Octopuses don't turn into men. They don't cook seals by lying on them.

What about you? said Anoctopus, looking at Gaius.

I should like to hear why you claim it is true, said Gaius.

Aha, said Anoctopus. You are no fool. I'll be happy to tell you the reason.

Busted

Lavender, you are so busted, said Baby Pierre. Wait till Ageless hears about this.

What? said Lavender, although she knew.

You broke the statue of Rabbit Burns, said Baby Pierre. That makes you a vandal. You will be in the newspapers, and not in a good way.

It's Rabbie, not Rabbit, said Lavender. And I didn't break him, he broke himself. He wanted to come on the quest.

Well, where is he now? asked Baby Pierre.

Lavender shrugged. I don't know. He wanted to sit on the footpath and wait until morning, and I didn't.

That's just like you, said Baby Pierre.

Good, said Lavender. I like being like me.

Hear hear, said the Seagull Oracle. To thine own self be true.

What's that supposed to mean? asked Baby Pierre.

It's Shakespeare, said the Seagull Oracle. It means do what you like. And I would, if I wasn't cemented on here.

Poor Seagull Oracle, said Lavender. Would you like a biscuit or anything?

What sort? said the Seagull Oracle.

Lavender turned to Baby Pierre.

What sort are in Ageless's tin?

Yam, snapped Baby Pierre.

That sounds nice, said the Seagull Oracle wistfully. But I don't eat, you know.

That's alright, said Lavender. To thine own self .... what was it again?

Beetroot! said Baby Pierre.

Sand and Yam Biscuits

So, said Lavender. When are we going to start looking for the Mortal Jellyfish?

It's the Immortal Jellyfish, said Baby Pierre. IM-mortal. That means it doesn't die. If it was a Mortal Jellyfish it would be just like all the other jellyfish.

Alright, the Immortal Jellyfish, said Lavender. Same difference. When?

Tomorrow morning, said Ageless. We'll go to Henley. Tonight we're going back to the library. We can stay there overnight. There are some things I want to take with me and ....

You talk like an old person, said Lavender. How old are you?

Two hundred and ninety, said Ageless. It's my birthday tomorrow.

Lavender looked at Baby Pierre, who looked shocked.

We're older than you then, said Baby Pierre. How come you seem older?

Because I'm more dangerous, said Ageless.

Yes, you are dangerous, said Baby Pierre, thinking of Frog.

Let's go, said Ageless. Soon the library will close.

They hurried back to North Terrace. Lavender couldn't help thinking about what Ageless had said. She wanted to be dangerous too. But she couldn't think of anything dangerous to do.

They were soon in the reading room at the library. Ageless shuffled around gathering books and tins of biscuits, and then discarding them only to pick them up again.

Which book? he muttered. Which tin?

Baby Pierre grew impatient.

Take the book about Sand, he said, and the tin of Yam bicuits.

Alright, said Ageless. Sorted. Now let's get some sleep.

Baby Pierre wasn't used to sleeping, but he decided to give it a try.

Now Lavender, said Ageless, you can sleep....hey! where's she gone?

But it seemed that Lavender had vanished.