Hooking Up With Camus

I'm all ears, said Sweezus, swigging on his Diet Coke and crunching up three macarons in quick succession. What's your brilliant idea?

It's this, said Marie. You know how you've been mooning around the office for ages, and you still haven't written anything of note...

What about my moon tweets? said Sweezus, looking offended.

Admirable, said Marie, but what we want's an article on bicycle philosophy. Now, our friend Camus has told us that he needs a bit of help finishing his own contribution, which is due at the end of the week. How about you two hooking up with him? You might get some inspiration, Sweezus, and you, Gaius....

Me, said Gaius. What have I to do with this? I have no need of inspiration. You never even waited to hear what I was planning to write.

Sorry Gaius dear, said Belle et Bonne. What was it?

As a matter of fact, said Gaius, I came here in such a hurry after I remembered my promise that I have only a very vague idea.

Exactly, said Marie. I thought as much. Working with Camus will help you crystallise your own idea. Camus is a very clever chap, he won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957.

Humph, said Gaius.

But there's another more important reason why we need you, Gaius, said Belle et Bonne quickly. We know that you are very good at solving mysteries.

I am? said Gaius. Oh yes, the bicycle mystery. But what mystery do you need solving now?

Unfortunately, Camus has gone missing, said Belle et Bonne.

Sweezus whistled.

And you want us to find him!

Yes, said Marie. But we only have one clue. We know he's somewhere down at Victor Harbor looking for fairy penguins, but we don't know where he's staying.

Maundy Thursday

On the way home Jesus was filled with self doubt. What had Belle et Bonne meant by 'We fell about in admiration'? People usually fall about laughing. Could she have switched answers in mid-sentence to save his feelings?

You're too sensitive, he told himself. But tonight, be a little less out there.

That night the moon looked to him like a pale orange biscuit. He tweeted a careful description.

And then he thought, Yippee! tomorrow I'm going on holiday!

The next morning he turned up at Marie's and knocked at the door.

Hi, said Marie. Bright and early I see. Is that all your stuff?

Yep, said Jesus.

It doesn't look like much, said Marie. Did you bring something to sleep in?

Yep, said Jesus. Are you ready? Let's go.

Belle et Bonne appeared, wearing very short shorts.

Belle, said Marie. I hope you've packed a raincoat. And some leg warmers.

Don't worry. I have, said Belle et Bonne. So let's go!

They rode off together through the city and down to the coast, where they headed south. Clouds gathered and it began to drizzle slightly.

You might not see the moon tonight, said Marie.

I tweet clouds as well, said Jesus.

You have many talents, said Belle et Bonne.

I never know when you're pulling my leg, said Jesus.

That's funny, said Belle et Bonne. Neither do I.

Soon it felt like lunchtime.

Is it lunchtime? asked Belle et Bonne.

Yes, said Marie.

They stopped. Marie produced sandwiches, water and fruit. Jesus opened his backpack.

The two girls stared. It appeared to be full of chocolate. Blocks of chocolate, bars of chocolate, chocolate eggs, chocolate bunnies, chocolate bilbies, chocolate pandas, gold foil-wrapped chocolate fish.

And very little else.

Tweeting the Moon.

Well, said Belle et Bonne, I'm adopted, so that makes me doubly lucky. But anyway, you have a famous father too.

Not that famous, said Jesus.

Are you kidding? said Belle et Bonne.

Oh him, said Jesus. A misunderstanding after the event. I guess you could say I'm adopted too. So, what's Voltaire like as a dad?

He's great, said Belle et Bonne. A little difficult sometimes. You just have to humour him.

Mmm. Same, said Jesus.

Marie came in with the tea.

Would anyone like a hot cross bun? she asked.

Yes please, said Belle et Bonne.

No thanks, said Jesus.

Oh sorry, said Marie. I should have thought.

It's not that, said Jesus. It's because I hate peel.

Then you're in luck, said Marie. These ones are choc chip.

Yum, said Jesus.

They drank tea and munched choc chip easter buns in silence for a while.

Oh by the way, said Marie, I'm following you on Twitter.

Me too, said Belle et Bonne. We love your moon tweets. They're so... over the top.

Yeah, said Jesus. I really try to let my self go. Did you like last night's one? "Full frown-faced moon breaks free of tarry custard-rimmed cloud-flake only to be obscured again by dragon's claw".

We fell about in admiration, said Belle et Bonne.