Hooking Up With Camus

I'm all ears, said Sweezus, swigging on his Diet Coke and crunching up three macarons in quick succession. What's your brilliant idea?

It's this, said Marie. You know how you've been mooning around the office for ages, and you still haven't written anything of note...

What about my moon tweets? said Sweezus, looking offended.

Admirable, said Marie, but what we want's an article on bicycle philosophy. Now, our friend Camus has told us that he needs a bit of help finishing his own contribution, which is due at the end of the week. How about you two hooking up with him? You might get some inspiration, Sweezus, and you, Gaius....

Me, said Gaius. What have I to do with this? I have no need of inspiration. You never even waited to hear what I was planning to write.

Sorry Gaius dear, said Belle et Bonne. What was it?

As a matter of fact, said Gaius, I came here in such a hurry after I remembered my promise that I have only a very vague idea.

Exactly, said Marie. I thought as much. Working with Camus will help you crystallise your own idea. Camus is a very clever chap, he won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957.

Humph, said Gaius.

But there's another more important reason why we need you, Gaius, said Belle et Bonne quickly. We know that you are very good at solving mysteries.

I am? said Gaius. Oh yes, the bicycle mystery. But what mystery do you need solving now?

Unfortunately, Camus has gone missing, said Belle et Bonne.

Sweezus whistled.

And you want us to find him!

Yes, said Marie. But we only have one clue. We know he's somewhere down at Victor Harbor looking for fairy penguins, but we don't know where he's staying.

Brainstorming

Le Bon David and The VeloDrone are brainstorming, in the office.

The VeloDrone: We need a new direction.

Le Bon David: Did we have an old direction?

The VeloDrone: Good question. We seemed to spend all our time avoiding angry, opinionated, jealous and manipulative contributors. And picnics.

Le Bon David: You have to admit we were successful, especially at avoiding Freud's picnic.

The VeloDrone: Nevertheless, I think it's time to take control. Let's choose someone we both admire and ask them to write an article for Velosophy.

Le Bon David: Excellent idea. I suggest Albert Einstein.

The VeloDrone: Yes! Didn't he get the Nobel Prize for discovering the Law of Photogenic Effect?

Le Bon David: I don't think so, Vello. He wasn't especially photogenic. Perhaps you mean the Law of Photoelectric Effect?

The VeloDrone: Perhaps I do. But David, I must take issue with you. Einstein was very photogenic. Haven't you seen that famous photograph of him riding his bicycle?

Le Bon David: I have. But do you know, when I first saw it I thought it was a photo of a lady.

The VeloDrone: A lady! What about his large moustache?

Le Bon David: The sun was shining down very brightly. It could have been a shadow on his lip. It was his windblown hair that made me think he was a lady.

The VeloDrone: For heaven's sake David, I'm going to google him right now and see if you are right......

He googles.

The VeloDrone: Oh, really! He's wearing an old man's cardigan and old man's trousers! I can't see how you made such a mistake.

Le Bon David: No, nor can I now. Not a word of this to Albert. Although it might be rather tricky if he brings it up.