Is The Pain Showing?

How does this look? asks Ageless.

Lauren has convinced him to push back his red knitted hat.

Click! She takes a photo

 Let me see it, says Belle.

Is the pain showing? asks Ageless.

What pain? asks Belle. 

Du Fresne's pain, says Ageless. I attempted to channel it.

I took another one without the hat, says Lauren.

Let's see that one, says Belle. 

Which one is better? asks Lauren.

Did Du Fresne wear a red knitted hat? asks Belle.

He did, says Ageless. That's why I insisted.

Pushed back like that? asks Belle.

I doubt it, says Ageless. We lobsters like to wear our brims down.

I asked him to push it up, says Lauren. So his eyes showed.

Well, I like it, says Belle. It's the best one.

Great, says Lauren. It'll be tiny anyway. The lagoon's in the distance.

O is it? says Ageless.

Now I just have to decide where to hide the bicycle, says Lauren.

What bicycle? asks Ageless. Du Fresne didn't mention a bicycle.

There was no bicycle, originally, says Lauren. I've been asked to hide one in the video. Actually Sweezus was asked to, but I volunteered, as he's got training.

Who asked Sweezus to hide one? asks Ageless.

Vello, says Lauren. Gaius can't get his article published in Velosophy otherwise.

And why does he want to? asks Ageless.

A pertinent question. 

It's supposed to be a reward for the quoll, says Belle. 

Ageless is starting to feel that he and Du Fresne have been dudded.

Sorrowful Beady Black Eyes

Ageless returns to his seat in the library.

Du Fresne has given the project his blessing, says Ageless.

That's great! says Belle.

Yes, says Lauren. And you're happy to pose in the beanbag?

As soon as I find my red knitted hat, says Ageless. Now, where is it?

You don't need a red knitted hat, says Lauren.

Du Fresne was wearing one, says Ageless.

I could photoshop a hat onto you, says Lauren. 

I prefer my own hat, says Ageless. 

Where is it? asks Belle.

I had it when I came in, says Ageless. And I don't recall taking it off.

Then it probably fell off while you were perusing the shelves, says Belle. 

Near the constellations, says Ageless. 

I'll go and look for it, says Belle. You get into the beanbag.

She goes off the the shelves marked Celestial Charts.

But there is no red knitted hat in that vicinity.

I'll take a look in lost property, thinks Belle.

Meanwhile Ageless is arranging himself in the beanbag.

A back view, I think, says Lauren.

I can hardly project pathos through a back view, says Ageless.

Who said anything about pathos? asks Lauren.

Du Fresne had been quietly slipping away, having realised he was moulting, says Ageless.

You're joking! says Lauren.

It's what he told me, says Ageless. And lobsters don't lie. 

So, a front view, says Lauren. Then we can see the pain in your expression.

Yes, says Ageless. And the resignation.

Resignation, exactly, says Lauren. Do you want to practise?

Ageless twists around in his beanbag. Composes his antennae and antennules to frame his black eyes.

His sorrowful beady black eyes.  

That's great! says Lauren, taking a picture. You look like a lobster with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I have been there myself, many times, says Ageless.

In a canoe? asks Lauren.

Moulting at an inopportune moment, says Ageless. 

Belle returns with the red knitted hat.

Someone handed it in to lost property, says Belle.

Ageless puts his hat on.

Lauren frowns.

It covers his antennules, compresses his long antennae and obscures the top half of his eyes.

She wonders if Ageless could be convinced to roll up the brim.

He Has Never Sat In A Beanbag

Yes, it's me, replies Ageless. Where are you?

Tasmania, says Du Fresne. Where are you?

Adelaide, says Ageless. Let me run something by you.

Fire away, says Du Fresne.

Canoe, says Ageless. Ring a bell?

What is this? asks Du Fresne. The inquisition?

Guilty conscience? asks Ageless. 

Pas du tout! says Du Fresne.

Let me come at this from another angle, says Ageless.

Yes, do that, says Du Fresne.

I've been asked to portray you in a video, says Ageless. 

Doing what? asks Du Fresne.

That's the thing, says Ageless. They want me to sit in a beanbag.

I have never sat in a beanbag, says Du Fresne.

Doubtless, says Ageless. You've had no call to. They can be quite comfy.

What's this about? asks Du Fresne.

The beanbag is only because there are no canoes in the library, says Ageless. I, in a beanbag posing as you, in a canoe, will be photoshopped into the video. What I want to know first is, will you be happy?

No, says Du Fresne. I will not. The canoe incident was not my finest moment.

What was? asks Ageless. 

Finding the first Tzeet, says Du Fresne. As I was asked to do. How was I to know the second Tzeet would go missing?

So you organized a search party, says Ageless. It's more than I would have done.

It was more than I would have done, had I not been overtaken by an acquisitive quoll, says Du Fresne. It was all downhill from there.

I see, says Ageless. You had been slipping away quietly.

With good reason, says Du Fresne. I was beginning to feel I was moulting.

Shit-a-brick! says Ageless. So you stole a canoe. I get it. And what were you wearing?

My red knitted hat, says Du Fresne.

Perfect, says Ageless. Don't worry old chum. I'll pile on the pathos.

I don't know if..... begins Du Fresne. Then he thinks Blow it! 

What does he care if he, represented by Ageless, is photoshopped into a video, in a beanbag?

Don't things like this happen all the time?.

Old Scoundrel

Hello ladies, says Ageless, looking up from his book of constellations. 

Hello Ageless, says Belle.

Remember me? says Lauren.

Surfing-with-Whales's mother, says Ageless. Nietzsche. The shorts.

I've decided to put that behind me, says Lauren.

Very wise, says Ageless. Do you still practise Reiki?

When requested, says Lauren. Do you need healing?

On and off, says Ageless. Not at the moment. 

I see you're looking at constellations, says Belle. What's that one?

Take a guess, says Ageless.

It looks a bit like a lobster, says Belle.

Then you are more observant than most, says Ageless. 

Cancer the Crab, reads Lauren. I can never work out how they name them. 

Not by likeness, says Ageless. 

Speaking of which, says Lauren, I've come to ask you a favour. Will you pose for a photo?

Certainly, says Ageless. 

He leans forward, placing his dominant claw across Cancer the Crab.

Could you try and look as though you're in a canoe? asks Lauren.

May I ask why? asks Ageless

He could sit in a beanbag, says Belle. There's one over there in the corner.

Pause! says Ageless. Do I detect a hidden agenda?

I should have explained, says Lauren. I need a photo for a video I'm photoshopping.

And how do I fit in? asks Ageless.

You'll take the part of Du Fresne, says Lauren. He led the search party for the two orange-bellied parrots that Gaius sent to Tasmania by ferry.

Aha! says Ageless. Why didn't you say so? Du Fresne's an old seafaring friend. Surely he hasn't been reduced to captaining a canoe?

No, says Belle. But he was in it at the time the missing parrots were found.

By him? says Ageless.

By a quoll, says Belle. The quoll was nearby.

This begs many questions, says Ageless. Before I consent to this photo, I must take a moment.

He climbs off his chair, heads for the beanbag and disappears behind it.

Bshhhh Trshhhh Crshhhh Crshhhh .....

Ageless? Is that you, you old scoundrel? the voice of Du Fresne crackles faintly ......

Lobster v Crab

Lauren is staying at Belle's place.

Belle arrives home.

You look busy, says Belle.

I offered to help Sweezus with the video, says Lauren. 

O yes, says Belle. The hidden bicycle. Where have you put it?

I was thinking of placing it in the lagoon, says Lauren. In the reeds at the edge, with a bit of wheel showing.

Clever, says Belle.

But, says Lauren, when I ran the idea past Gaius, he mentioned the lobster.

Yes, the lobster, says Belle. That was Du Fresne.

Apparently he led the search party, says Lauren. And yet he gets no credit in the video.

It was a reenactment, says Belle. And Du Fresne had gone home. Or wherever.

If I'm adding a bicycle I can add a lobster, says Lauren.

What a lovely idea, says Belle. Do you have a suitable photo?

I could use a stock photo, says Lauren.

Why don't you? says Belle.

They aren't posed right, says Lauren. 

Like they just got off a bicycle? says Belle. And it rolled away somewhere. And they lost it?

A pose like that would be good, says Lauren. Or in a canoe, bending forward.

Even harder, says Belle. But wait! You should get in touch with Ageless lobster.

Would he pose for a photo? asks Lauren

If I know Ageless he'd love to, says Belle.

How do I get hold of him? asks Lauren.

Reading room at the State Library, says Belle. He's usually there.

Thanks, says Lauren. He doesn't have a phone does he?

Of course not, says Belle. Shall I come with you?

So the two of them take the bus to the State Library on North Terrace.

They go up the stairs.

Ageless is at his usual table, in his usual chair, with a book of constellations lying open at Cancer the Crab.

Unpredictable

That afternoon, Lauren calls Sweezus.

I hear you need help with the video, says Lauren.

Ah yeah no, not really, says Sweezus.

Come on, says Lauren. You've got team training. And I'm not busy.

Did Surfing-with-Whales tell you what happened? asks Sweezus.

About the lamp post, says Lauren. He told me. But I'm handy at photoshopping.

Okay, says Sweezus. I'll send you the video and the photo. You'll see the green wheel sticking out. Make it stick out behind a tree, or something. Not too easy to see. It's for a competition.

I know. I was there at the party, says Lauren. 

Oh yeah, says Sweezus. Thanks Lauren.

He sends her the video and the photo.

And goes out to do stuff with his bike.

Lauren watches the video, over and over.

Where to hide the tiny section of bike wheel?

She calls Gaius. After all it's his project.

Ring ring.

Hello? says Gaius. 

It's Lauren, says Lauren. I'm helping Sweezus with the video.

Isn't it finished? asks Gaius.

I'm placing the bicycle, says Lauren, and I wanted your feedback.

The bicycle is nothing to do with me, says Gaius. It was Arthur's idea to hide it.

I'm not consulting Arthur, says Lauren. He's too unpredictable.

I find him reliable, says Gaius.

Mm, says Lauren. So where do you suggest I hide it? A tree seems too obvious. What about the lagoon?

The lagoon? says Gaius. What would a bicycle be doing in a lagoon?

Sticking out of it, says Lauren. In the reeds at the edge.

Hum, says Gaius. Isn't there a paperbark canoe there?

Is that what it is? asks Lauren.

Indeed, says Gaius. I believe Du Fresne made use of it. 

The lobster? says Lauren. 

Yes, he was leading the search party, says Gaius. Or so I was told.

Then why isn't he in the video? asks Lauren. It looks like the quoll is the hero.

How unfair, says Gaius. Perhaps you could do something about that as well.

Sure, says Lauren. Just find me a lobster.

But Gaius was only being sarcastic, and has ended the call.

Not Never Too Late

Later that morning.

Sweezus, Arthur and Surfing-with-Whales cycle up Greenhill Road to Mount Lofty.

On the way up they don't talk much.

Finally they reach the summit.

 Hurrrr! says Surfing-With-Whales. That was freakin' hard work.

Coffee? says Sweezus.

They head for the café, order coffees, and sit down.

We'll go down and then ride up again, says Sweezus. 

No way! says Surfing-with-Whales. I'm done already.

All the more reason, says Sweezus. 

True, bro, says Surfing-with-Whales. Too many pizzas is my problem.

I thought you made them not ate them, says Arthur.

There's usually leftovers, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Other people's? says Arthur.

Why not? says Surfing-with-Whales. I need to know my own product.

Yeah but isn't it always different? asks Sweezus. You make the pizzas with stuff from their fridges.

Never too late to learn something, says Surfing-with-Whales.

That's true, says Arthur.

What have you learnt? asks Sweezus.

Banana bread, says Arthur.

You know how to make it? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

No, we should've ordered it, says Arthur.

Never too late, says Sweezus. 

Arthur goes off to order banana bread.

How's the hidden bike video going? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Complete fuck-up, says Sweezus. Baby Pierre hid his bike behind a lamp post.

What's so bad about that? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Lamp post? In the middle of some lagoony south west Tasmanian nowhere, says Sweezus. 

Yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales. But is the wheel sticking out?

Yeah, says Sweezus. It's sticking out. 

So just use the sticking out bit, says Surfing-with-Whales. Theoretically you could insert it anywhere.

It's time consuming, says Sweezus. And we've got training.

Mum's got heaps of patience, says Surfing-with-Whales. She does level two Reiki. You could ask her.

Might just do that, says Sweezus.

Arthur returns. 

The café is out of banana bread. 

It's not never too late.