The Tour has now reached the Pyrenees. Gustave and Gaius are toiling up the Col du Tourmalet, cursing the day they were born.
Gustave: Uh huh, uh huh, uuuuh, this is killing me!
Gaius: Courage my friend! It's killing me too.
Gustave: I don't have the legs!
Gaius: Think of France! Neither do I.
Gustave: My poor friend! Think of ancient Rome!
Gaius: I do! There were no bicycles then.
Gustave: Where is Violetta?
Gaius: Up the front somewhere. No one can say she hasn't the legs.
Gustave: She is like a machine, that woman. If only we could trust her....
Gaius: But we can't. You know the gendarmes are asking questions about you?
Gustave: Merde! About me?
......
Meanwhile, The VeloDrone and Le Bon David are even further behind, having decided to walk their bicycles up the Col.
The VeloDrone: After all, what does it matter? We don't want to kill ourselves.
Le Bon David: True, true. We don't want to die.
The VeloDrone: Not today, anyway.
Le Bon David: Ha ha! Naturally, I meant not today. But I can't help thinking about that Japanese chappie.
The VeloDrone: Yukio Mishima?
Le Bon David: Yes, him, and his seppuku.
The VeloDrone: But of course, with a grandmother like that, not allowing him sunlight....
Le Bon David: And a father like that, holding him up to speeding trains....
The VeloDrone: It's a wonder he achieved anything at all. And yet, he was undoubtedly a brilliant novelist.
Le Bon David: And how are the girls enjoying the book?
The VeloDrone: Belle et Bonne nearly gave up at the disembowelling of the kitten, but Marie persuaded her to go on.
Le Bon David: Good, good. By the way, I'm starving. Is there anything to nibble?
The VeloDrone: Let me see. Here, let's go halves in a Kit Kat.
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