Thursday, March 16, 2023

Not English When A Bat Says It

Gaius arrives home.

He lifts Terence out of the box.

He carries the fruit bat, in the box, through to the kitchen.

It's been a long day, says Gaius. I think I'll turn in. 

I'll watch over Squatty, says Terence.

I thought you called her Squattu, says Gaius.

Squatty is her short name, says Terence.

You know best, says Gaius. 

He heads off to the bathroom, to do his ablutions.

Go to sleep Squatty, says Terence.

Squattu! says Squatty. 

Okay, go to sleep Squattu, says Terence.

But Squattu remains wide awake.

I'll sing you a song, says Terence.

Squat! says Squattu. Weeooweeoo!

Okay I won't, says Terence. 

Squattu tries to get out of the box.

Help! cries Terence. 

Gaius comes back from the bathroom, toothpaste foam in his mouth.

What is it?

She's trying to get out of the box! says Terence.

Let her, says Gaius. She's a nocturnal creature.

Terence knows what that means.

Gaius goes back to th bathroom to spit. 

He imagines Terence helping the fruit bat out of the box and letting it fly round the kitchen.  

No harm in that, if the creature feels up to it, after being half strangled.

But Terence has done more than that.

He has opened the back door and let Squattu out into the garden.

And guess who is out there?

Roo-kai! says Terence. 

Nice shorts, says Roo-kai.

Belle made them, says Terence. Why are you here?

Waiting, says Roo-kai. How did the play go?

Good, says Terence. Me and Hedley wore our shorts back to front at the end.

Are you still doing it? asks Roo-kai.

Yes, says Terence. I should probably take them off now.

Who's the visitor? asks Roo-kai.

Squatty, says Terence. She's a fruit bat. I asked her if she wanted to be my second best parrot.

What did she answer? asks Roo-kai.

Squat, says Terence.

She needs some English lessons, says Roo-kai.

Squat is English, says Terence. 

Not when a bat says it, says Roo-kai. Where did she go?

Bumhole! cries Terence. She flew away while we were talking!

Don't worry I'll find her, says Roo-kai.

He flies off, looking for Squatty.

Squatty is hanging upside down in the apricot tree in the corner, feeling unwell.

Squatty? says Roo-kai. 

Squatty doesn't answer.

If you come back inside, says Roo-kai, I'll bring you something to eat, and we'll talk about the future.

Squatty wonders if this bird is Terence's best parrot.

It doesn't look like a parrot. But it does talk like one.

If it can help her learn English, she'll be able to apply for the drone job in the morning.

Yes. Good thinking.

She follows him in.


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