Wednesday, July 8, 2009

This Excellent Newton

Catch up Pliny, I said. Don't you know Sir Isaac Newton, the famous 18th century mathematician, physicist, natural philosopher, astronomer and alchemist? The inventor of the Laws of Motion, the Law of Universal Gravitation and Differential Calculus?

Oh, that Newton, said Pliny, off-handedly. Yes, I am afraid I have skipped him, in my studies of modern science so far. I was keen to gain an understanding of relativity, string theory, neutrinos and quarks.

Well, Pliny, I think you ought to spend a little time on Newton. Otherwise how will you understand how these new ideas have developed?

Run me through it then, said Pliny, not seeming to be as interested as I expected.

That put me on the spot. I wasn't sure I could remember the Newton's Laws of Motion. I knew they were something to do with motion though, so I decided to have a go.

The First Law is that a body is either at rest or moving at a constant velocity, I said.

Nonsense. said Pliny. Look at you. You're sitting down, and you're moving.

Maybe that's wrong, I said, but I remember the Second Law. Force equals mass times acceleration. That means that the bigger something is, and the faster it's moving, the bigger the collision it makes.

No, said Pliny. One only has to think of clouds. What is the third of these Newton's Laws of Motion?

Action and reaction are equal and opposite, I said confidently, certain this one was right, and unassailable.

Rubbish, said Pliny. How then is anyone to win an argument?

No comments: