The VeloDrone

No, I don't, said Pliny crossly. But I suppose you are going to tell me anyway.

Not unless you want me to, I replied.

Hmm, said Pliny. Alright then, tell me who was the winner of your absurd the Tour de France.

Alberto Contador, I said, followed by one of the Schlecks, and Lance Armstrong.

Yes of course, said Pliny, I know that, but what happened to the members of your Team Philosophe? Rousseau was last seen pedalling furiously up Mont Ventoux. Did he get to the top?

Oh yes, he did. And in record time. He would have been King of the Mountain, but he went flying down the other side and headed straight for Paris without stopping, so he was disqualified. He was livid. He claimed no one had told him he was meant to catch the train to Montereux.

What about Voltaire and Hume? asked Pliny. Did they finish well?

Well, they finished, I said. But not too well. They got into a very deep conversation about the cyclical nature of history and the cogs of human understanding, and they forgot all about trying to win the race. They were philosophical about it though. They're going to give up racing and publish a cycling and philosophy journal together.

Oh really? said Pliny, looking interested. I must watch out for it. What is it to be called?

Hume wants to call it Velosophy, but Voltaire thinks it will be more amusing to call it The VeloDrone.