Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Minus Fifth Day of Christmas

I was on Hutt Street last week, said Pliny the Elder, waiting to cross over at the lights, when I happened to look at a tree I was standing next to. It had a length of red plastic net fixed round the trunk, the sort they use for oranges.

Really, I said, surprised. Was it an orange tree?

No, said Pliny. It was a plane tree. On further inspection I noticed that I was in fact looking at the back end of a large red Christmas bow.

What do you mean, the back end?

I mean that the bow was on the other side of the tree, visible only to the oncoming traffic.

How peculiar. Oncoming traffic does not need to be distracted by a Christmas bow.

Indeed. It was then I became aware that every tree on Hutt Street sported a similar bow. And that the ones on the opposite side were also angled to face the oncoming traffic.

Are you sure, Pliny? They were angled towards the road? And therefore away from the gaze of pedestrians, such as yourself?

Yes, said Pliny. I'm glad to see you agree with me that it is quite outrageous.

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