Red Eyes Smouldering Like Coals

What good is the recipe if you don't have the ingredients? says Arthur. How about a hallucination instead?

I don't produce hallucinations, says zircon. I help you fight them.

Alright, says Arthur. I can produce my own hallucinations. I used to do it all the time. Just watch me.

I'm in a cardboard box, says the zircon. .

You can stay there, says Arthur. But stop rattling.

I'm not rattling, says the zircon.

You are, says Arthur. I can hear you.

It must be evil spirits, says the zircon. I can fight them. Just get me out.

Arthur gets off the bicycle. He takes the cardboard box out of his pocket, and picks up the zircon with a pincer action.

I won't bite YOU, says the zircon. Uhh! What's that?

What's what? says Arthur.

Over there! says the zircon. Where the rattling's coming from. Red eyes glowing in the dark like coals. Maybe it's snakes! Hey! Don't go any nearer!

Why not? says Arthur. You'll protect me.

He goes towards the glowing red coals.

BWAA! says a raspy voice, followed by another, equally raspy. BWAA!

Hello! says Arthur. I'm hallucinating.

BWAA!

Two tall dark figures emerge from the shadows, their knees rattling horribly. They are brandishing stone knives. Their eyes are smouldering.

May I introduce you to my zircon, says Arthur boldly. It intends to fight you.

No that's wrong, says the zircon. I don't do actual fighting. That's only metaphorical. I protect by being.

BWAAHAHA! BWAAHAHA!

Can the the dark shadowy figures be laughing?

Are you laughing? says Arthur.

YE-HE-HE! says one. Protect by being! Metaphorical!  What a piece of bullshit! Do youse know who we are?

No, says Arthur. Who?

We are Malingees, says the first Malingee. We are evil spirits and we live round here. We keep to ourselves normally. We have these rattling knees and smouldering eyes for a reason.

What's the reason? asked Arthur.

To scare youse off, says the first Malingee.

It doesn't always work, says the second Malingee. And then we stab youse with stone knives!

I like it, says Arthur. Very good. I might get something useful out of that.