The Magical Properties of Zircon

Emma is right. It isn't Paul Verlaine's Jeep.

The Jeep pulls up, and out steps Dr Yates, followed by Gaius and Mathilde.

Good day! says Dr Yates. We're looking for Arthur. Is he about?

And Paul, says Mathilde. I thought he might have come here.

Not forgetting Lavender, says Gaius. Oh, there you are, Lavender.

Gaius! cries Lavender. I found a zircon. It bites!

That seems unlikely, says Gaius.

No, look, here it is, says Lavender, opening the box.

That's a very fine zircon, says Dr Yates, picking it up. Ouch!

Did it bite you? says mum. Have some Stingose.

I meant it was unlikely that it should bite, says Gaius. But I see I was wrong in this case. How remarkable. Particularly as......

Mum sees Mathilde looking anxious.

Is your husband Monsieur Verlaine? asks mum. He was here. But he's gone off for a bit.

By himself? asks Mathilde.

No, says Irma, Arthur was driving the Jeep.

It is just as I feared, says Mathilde.

Come over here, dear, and tell me about it, says mum.

They go over there. Mathilde opens her heart to mum.

That Arthur! says Mathilde. He ruined my marriage.

He seems so nice, says mum. He let the children win at bowls. And he's lovely with Lavender.

Phoo! says Mathilde. He is dirty, and amoral. He once left turds under the pillow of our friend.

Arthur? says mum.

She is glad the children are out of earshot.

They are in fact listening to Gaius, who is explaining why zircons can normally be expected not to bite.

For indeed, says Gaius, zircons are used as talismans against snake bites, and the bites of wild animals. They will also stop bleeding, unless it is caused by a stone.

Everyone looks at Lavender.

But she knows she isn't responsible.