The Ruined Tickets

Gaius is at the bar in the Science Exchange when Arthur and Ageless arrive.

Arthur! Ageless! says Gaius. What brings you here?

I brought Arthur to see the Illuminations, says Ageless. We thought you might be here.

Plenty going on here during the Fringe, says Gaius. Are you having a drink?

Yes thanks, say Arthur and Ageless.

Gaius now has to buy them a drink. How did that happen?

What are you seeing? asks Ageless.

Ermmm.... says Gaius. I don't know.

He takes a Fringe envelope out of his pocket.

Let me see, these are my tickets in here.... Arrrgh! Jumping Jupiter! What is it?

A large cockroach jumps out of the envelope and  drops to the floor, where it freezes.

Kill it! shouts Ageless, though he ought to know better than that.

Arthur reacts quickly, crushing the cockroach with his foot. The cockroach is hard. It lies motionless, but has not been squashed.

Arthur stamps on the cockroach with double the force of last time. Creamy stuff oozes out of its sides.

Phew, says Ageless. Nasty creature! Thanks Arthur.

Arthur picks up the cockroach, wraps it in one of his bandages and stuffs it into the pocket of his shorts. He then takes a large swig of white wine.

Gaius is examining his tickets. They are covered with green smears and tiny brown dots. Some of the brown dots are stuck fast to the tickets.

Good gracious! says Gaius. That cockroach must have been in the envelope for quite a long time. My tickets are ruined.

Here, says the barman, handing him a wet cloth.

Now Vello and David arrive, and learn of the cockroach

Well done Arthur, let me buy you a drink, says Vello.

And me, says David. You are a reliable chap!

.......

Arthur has had many drinks without having to pay for a single one. He feels that there is something he is forgetting to do......something..... he needs to concentrate....he is not getting the recognition he deserves.....those paintings downstairs........a plan forms.....

He melts away from the others, and sneaks down the stairs to the room where the paintings are housed. The  disemboweled cockroach is burning a hole in his pocket.