An Insight Into The Tedious Side Of Museum Work

Let's clean up those tickets, says Steve. Give them to me. Hmm, this might be tricky.

Tell me about it, says Gaius. I tried a wet cloth, but the printing started coming off, so I stopped.

Ah yes, says Steve, tickets are no use if they're blank. I'll show you what we do here at the museum. Same as they do at the library. Cockroaches shit on books all the time, the spines usually, it's disgusting.....

This is all very interesting, says Paul, but I need to get back to my office. Can we just test these samples of tissue?

Yes, yes, says Steve. I'll send them downstairs. It may take a few minutes. Would you two like a coffee?

Yes please, says Paul. A skinny latte.

Yes, thank you, says Gaius. White with one.

Steve orders the coffees and calls someone to come up for the samples.

Right, that's underway, says Steve. Now watch this.

He takes some very fine sandpaper out of a drawer and rubs it gently over the faecal spots on the tickets.

Choir Girl! says Steve. You surprise me.

I like a bit of singing, says Gaius.

Did you forget the Sprigg Lecture was on? says Steve, rubbing a little too hard. Oops! Sorry. This isn't working. I'll try option two.

He takes out a bottle of bleach, and a wipe.

Bleach, says Paul. That's a bit drastic.

Not if you're careful, says Steve. He tips bleach on the wipe and dabs cautiously at the green and brown spots. He stops. They don't look any different.

What's option three? says Paul. White Out?

Acrylic paint, says Steve. We must find the right match. Let's see, these tickets are white and pale blue. Let me look in the cupboard. Oh dear I don't have any blue. I'll just call up the library....

This is becoming quite tedious.

Fortunately there is a knock on the door.

Two coffees arrive, fresh  from the Balaena Cafe.

And then there is another knock on the door. It's a young woman in a lab coat.

I have the results of the tissue testing for you, Professor Donnellan, she says.

Thanks, Alexis! That was quick, says Steve.