How To Take Control

The party is over. Sweezus is driving Mrs Hume back to town.

Did you finish the article? asks Mrs Hume.

No, I'm stuck, says Sweezus.

It's the bicycle, isn't it, sympathises Mrs Hume. That's always the hardest part.

It's Richard the Third, says Sweezus. He's out of his depth.

Ha ha! laughs Mrs Hume. Out of his depth! But remember, he lived under a car park. He should know what a bicycle is.

He didn't LIVE under it, says Sweezus.

Sweezus! says Mrs Hume sternly. Who is writing this thing?

I am, says Sweezus. It's for Beyoncé. But the voice is of Richard the Third.

That's a very daft concept, says Mrs Hume. But if you are determined, you must take control.

You're right, Mrs Hume, says Sweezus.

He starts to think about how to take control.

Watch out! shouts Mrs Hume. We nearly had an accident! Stop the car and let me drive.

They stop and swap seats. With Mrs Hume driving, the car makes that funny noise.

Hear that? says Mrs Hume. I can't understand it.

But Sweezus is deep in thought, and doesn't hear it. Nor does Richard the Third.

Livynge onder a car parke he saugh manye a bycycle. But at the babye showere he saugh a bycycle the likke of whych he hadde nevere seene before in alle his liffe.

A bycycle that moveth notte forewarde, nor ever coulde.

Eke hade he heerd the ladyes speke of  exchanging a vaste somme of money for swych a bycycle.

This he bethougt himme, proveth in sooth that recyclinge is a greyter goode thanne cyclinge.

The ende.

Awesome! says Sweezus. I've done it. Listen to this Mrs Hume.

He reads it to Mrs Hume.

Very good, says Mrs Hume. You've captured the essence of something there. Well done. But now it....

Watch out! shouts Sweezus.

Oops! says Mrs Hume.