Grand Guignol and Root Chips

It is a warm evening in Adelaide, and still light. There are thundery clouds overhead. David and Vello walk to the East End and cross the road near the entrance to Gluttony.

Already the grass is like chaff. There are tables and chairs and suitcases to sit on. There are wardrobes that you can walk into, if only you dare. Old chandeliers and fringed light shades hang from the trees, and the theme of the garden is pigs.

This is better than last year, says Vello, patting a painted pig. More armchairs and pigs. But the food looks the same. They had Scottish burgers last year.

Root chips! says David, pointing to a chalkboard. What are root chips?

I don't fancy root chips, says Vello. Lets go with the burgers again.

They sit on a soft backless sofa eating their burgers and watching the crowd.

Look at that picture next to the tent, says David. I imagine it's meant to be Jesus. And look what he's saying.

YOLO, says Vello. At least now I know what that means. You only live once.... Ha ha, I get it! He's popping pills and eating MacDonalds!

Very funny, says David. But let's not tell Sweezus. He hasn't only lived once.

Come to that, nor have we, observes Vello.

 It is almost eight o'clock, time for the show, Grand Guignol.

The tent is tiny and dark, with a large fan at the entrance, and a puppet theatre on the stage. David and Vello sit in the second row. Four large people arrive and sit in the front row.

Dave Bloustein begins with puppets. Vello is disappointed. He doesn't like puppets. And he doesn't like sitting behind large people.

After that things improve. Dave Bloustein tells stories of terror and mayhem and murder, in the tradition of French Grand Guignol. First as an Egyptian, then as a Faceless Man in the Labor Party, then a Barista, and finally a Murderer called Tupperware Jack.

It is a preview show so there are some minor hiccups, but Vello and David agree it was worth the five dollars.

Are we getting old? asks David.

Why do you need to ask? says Vello.

In previous years we've participated, says David. Remember when we did philosophy and trick cycling as Abbott and Costello? Remember the year we performed Candide on Bicycles? Those were good times.

You're right, David, says Vello. Where is our spirit of adventure? I wish I had tried the root chips.

It's not too late, says David. YOLO.

Hmm, says Vello. I wonder...

They go back to buy some root chips.