What's Wrong With Old People

I'm good with a camera, says Arthur.

Brilliant! says Midge. So here's my camera. Take care of it. Get used to it. Take as many shots as you like, whatever appeals to you. And then come back and show me what you've got.

Arthur sets off with the camera. He wonders what it's worth.

Midge drops everyone else at the Velosophy office, then drives off to return Surf Fink to Wicked Campers.

Papa! David! says Belle et Bonne, entering the office. Guess what? I've found replacements for Marie and me.

Oh good, says The VeloDrone. Who?

Sweezus and Bunny, says Belle et Bonne. They'll be great. They already have some new ideas.

The Velodrone looks doubtfully at David.

Good! Let's hear these new ideas, says David.

Yes, says The VeloDrone. Let's hear 'em. Sweezus you go first.

Not me, says Sweezus. Bunny.

Yes me, says Bunny. So, Mr Drone, your magazine is about bicycles and philosophy right?

Right, says The VeloDrone. Absolutely right. Spot on.

That's exactly what's wrong with you old people, says Bunny.

Pardon? says The VeloDrone.

Always sarcastic, says Bunny. Young people don't like that kind of stuff.

Just how was I sarcastic? asks The VeloDrone.

You said Right! Absolutely right! Spot on! says Bunny. You didn't have to say it three times. God, I bet your magazine is full of.....paragraphs!

Paragraphs! says The VeloDrone. Of course it is!

We won't be doing paragraphs, says Bunny.

Right on! says Sweezus. No paragraphs! He likes this creative new idea.

And, says Bunny, I bet your magazine is full of articles by boring old philosophers, like ....oh I don't know, Socrates and Aristotle.

We wish! says David. But actually my dear, our contributors are not boring. We have had articles by Wittgenstein, Iris Murdoch, Camus.....

Camus! cries The VeloDrone. That reminds me! Did he ever send his article in?

Not yet, says Belle et Bonne. Perhaps you ought to ring him.

Who does he think he is? says The VeloDrone. Proust?

David is the only one who thinks that's funny.

Well, forget about Camus, says Bunny. I'm going to ask Beyoncé. She so cool. She's got the best philosophy ever and she rides a bike.

She does? says Sweezus. Yeah, I bet she does.

Probably, says Bunny. That's how she keeps so fit. If she writes something everyone will read it. What do you think of that idea, Mr Drone?