Traps, Threats and Insults

Hello dad!, says Bunny Moon. I wasn't expecting you.

Pchah! So I see! says Pastor Moon, choking on his scone.

Are you alright Ray? says Mrs Hume, hiding her glee at seeing Ray discomfited.

Yes! I am alright, says Pastor Moon. Bunny, get dressed at once. We're leaving!

I'm not leaving, says Bunny. I like it here.

She can stay as long as she likes, says Lauren Swales. She's a treasure. She's been helping in the craft shop.

Bunny! says Pastor Moon. I have not brought you up to be a helper in a craft shop. But that is beside the point. Were you sleeping with this disreputable young man?

Yes I was, says Bunny. Sorry dad. You weren't meant to find out.

Disreputable? says Surfing-With-Whales. Did he call me disreputable?

I always find you out, Bunny, says Pastor Moon, sternly. Now you're coming home with me. It seems I shall have to lock you in the house again.

Lock her in the house? says Mrs Hume. Are you joking? How old is Bunny?

Seventeen, says Pastor Moon.

Same as me, says Arthur. But Surfing-With-Whales is older.

He's more my age, says Sweezus, thoughtfully.

Am I ? says Surfing -With-Whales. How old are you?

Thirty ....ish, says Sweezus.

I'm not thirtyish, says Surfing-With-Whales, looking at his mum, and then at Bunny.

Aren't you? says Arthur. I have to say you look it.

That's surfing for you, says Surfing-With-Whales. The sun, the wind, they dry your skin up bad.

Badly, says Arthur.

Badly, says Surfing-With-Whales.

Do you use a moisturiser? asks Mrs Hume. I have worn moisturiser every day since I was a teenager, and look at my skin. Do you know how old I am?

No, how old are you, Mrs Hume? asks Tom-Jelte, who has up to now kept silent.

Guess! says Mrs Hume.

Tom-Jelte has fallen into a trap.

He looks at Arthur.

Arthur has no idea how old Mrs Hume is. She is the oldest person he has ever known.

Perhaps a hundred?

Arthur makes an X with his fingers. Then he makes another one.

Tom-Jelte is smart enough to know this information will not turn out useful.

There is a silence, while Pastor Moon turns purple.

Ray! says Lauren Swales. You're turning purple. Would you like another cup of tea? A raisin scone?

No thank you, Lauren, says Pastor Moon. You'd best keep out of this. I'm taking Bunny home.

He steps forward to grab hold of his daughter

Bunny runs back into the bedroom and locks the door.