Inside Richard the Third

Beyoncé is writing her list of philosophical ideas.

Life is like a shopping list, she writes. This is a philosophical idea that came to her quite suddenly in bed the night before.

Only connect, she writes. This is her favourite quote from E M Forster.

Damn, she says looking at her watch. What time is it? I'm late for yoga.

She reviews her list.

She remembers that there needs to be something about cycling.

Cycling, she writes. The word looks funny. Where is Jay-Z when you need him?

Cycling is good, recycling's better, writes Beyoncé. There. That'll have to do.

She presses SEND.

............

Bunny shows Beyoncé's list to Sweezus.

See how you go with that, says Bunny. And remember, no paragraphs. And that you're Richard the Third.

Sweezus peers at the list.

Life is like a shopping list, he reads.

Fuck, what does Beyoncé mean? He has no idea.

A shopping list. A list of things you need. Okay, thinks Sweezus. That must be what she means.

He is just about to write that down when he remembers. It doesn't matter what he thinks Beyoncé means. What matters is what Richard the Third would think she means.

Instead of being fazed, he tries to think himself inside the head of Richard.

It's a technique Sweezus has learned from his creative writing course.

Richard the Third lived in a time pre-dating shopping lists. That's a fact. But he has spent the last five hundred years buried under a car park. He must have seen a few.