Something Equally Natural To Grasshoppers

It's late. Everyone in the World's End is feeling mellow. David has asserted for the thousandth time that no one can ever prove their own existence. It is pleasant to imagine momentarily that you may not exist. Therefore why not sit a little longer, eating crisps and drinking Scottish beer.

But even David knows that this is sophistry. Reality intrudes. Belle's phone beeps twice. Beep Beep.

She has a message.

It's from Gaius, says Belle et Bonne. What can he want?

She reads the text aloud: WHEN IS A

When is a? says Belle. What should I answer? When is a what?

Yes, says Vello. Ha ha! That's the perfect answer. An adverb for an adverb.

Belle starts typing: WHEN IS A WHAT

Before she has finished typing she receives another message. Beep Beep.

It's from Gaius.

..... COMING HOME?

Aha, says Belle, that explains the mystery. He must have pressed send prematurely. He wants to know when Arthur's coming home. Oh damn!

What? says Vello.

I pressed send, says Belle. I've replied WHEN IS A WHAT. That will confuse him.

Beep Beep, another message, again from Gaius.

THAT IS MOST UNHELPFUL. GPS

I know it is, says Belle et Bonne. I guess I'd better answer.

She sends back: SORRY I DON'T KNOW.

What did you reply? asks Arthur.

I don't know, says Belle.

Arthur looks mildly surprised, but David doesn't.

Hear hear, says David. None of us knows anything.

True, says Vello. Did it occur to anyone that A could well refer to Ageless?

It'll refer to me, says Arthur. Gaius probably wants me to help him look for grasshoppers or something equally natural. But where is Ageless?

He stayed behind with Kobo, says Belle et Bonne. He was planning to take her to a bookshop.

That's so sweet, says Rosie. Let's go find them. I know which bookshop it'll be.

How strange that Rosie should claim to know something like that.

Arthur and Belle follow Rosie out into the Royal Mile, and up the street a little way. She stops outside a quaint and tiny out-of-the-way bookshop called The Old Children's Bookshelf.

It is closed.

But it appears someone has recently smashed a corner of the window.