Bicycle Most Strange

Arne goes inside to tell Belle that he is taking Gaius to the FietsLAB.

Does she want to come too?

Yes, says Belle. But I'll have to bring Terence. Okay?

Sure, says Arne. Terence will enjoy to meet Mr Muscle, and have a turn with the Oculus Rift.

They decide to walk to the University Museum, Gaius wheeling the Schopenhauerian bike.

Even being wheeled, the bike exerts a powerful influence.

I have not yet spoken my last word about women, says Gaius.

Pardon? says Belle.

He says he has not yet spoken his last word about women, says Arne helpfully. Is that Schopenhauer?

No doubt, says Gaius. I can no longer control this bicycle. Perhaps you would wheel it.

Arne obliges. He is now wheeling Schopenhauer's bicycle to the FietsLAB.

What was that about women? asks Belle.

They hold up half the sky, says Arne. Wow! Did you hear what I said there?

Isn't that Chairman Mao? says Belle.

I must have misheard it, says Arne.

Are we there yet? asks Terence. I'm bugged.

Speaking of women, says Gaius, I suspect Margaret.

I suspect the Virgin, says Terence.

That's naughty, says Belle. If you don't behave, you won't meet Mr Muscle.

Terence is silent. He does want to meet Mr Muscle.

At the FietsLAB, there are many visitors, most of them families.

Some of them are looking at exhibits; some listening to Mr Muscle explain how our muscles work, and how we may break our bones if we fall off a bicycle; some are queueing to try out the Oculus Rift.

Belle and Terence join the queue.

Arne goes off to look for his friend, an assistant professor.

.........

This is Roland, says Arne. He works here. Roland, this is Gaius, And this is his bicycle.

May I try it? asks Roland.

Certainly, says Gaius.

Roland gets on.

Whereas Roland is normally happy go lucky, he at once feels a blanket of Suffering descend.

He wobbles all round the exhibits, coming to grief on the floor.

I must have this bicycle, thinks Roland.

......

Later that evening, at Meneer Smakers, Team Condor convenes.

Sweezus and Arthur, Pablo and Gaius, have ordered Aunt Tamaras.

These are: gourmet beef burgers with truffle mayo, sundried tomatoes and parmesan cheese.

(Gourmet burgers, the universal health food!)

Gaius: And in exchange, he lent me a state of the art racing bicycle.

Sweezus: Awesome. So that's sorted.

Gaius: And Team Philosophe is disqualified. Did you know that?

Sweezus: Shit no. How come?

Gaius: Ask Arthur.

Arthur: How should I know?

Pablo: You do know. This is bad news for your friend Surfing-With-Whales.

Gaius: Is he still being detained?

Sweezus: Yeah. But his mum's going on Sixty Minutes. Weeping. He'll make it.

Pablo: He doesn't have long.

Sweezus: Chill, man. Not really our problem. Hey Farks! Want a chunk of this burger? It's wicked.

Farky-Om-Farky (who is under the table) does not deign to answer.