Stage 3 : Anvers to Huy - Beware

Rumour is rife among the riders.

Team Condor has a Foreseeing Dog.

Chris Froome, who so far has been lucky, sends Richie Porte over.

See what you can find out, Richie. You know 'em.

Okay, chief, says Richie.

They are best mates after all.

Richie Porte wheels his way to the start line where Sweezus is standing with Farks.

An official comes up to Sweezus.

Get that dog off the course, says the official. He shouldn't be there.

Where should he be? says Sweezus.

He should be THERE, says the official, pointing to a safe spot behind a barrier.

Be where? says Farky-Om-Farky, feigning inattention.

This is the moment that Richie rocks up.

Woah, man says Richie. This the famous dog?

Yeah, says Sweezus. He's just leaving. Go on Farks, stay with Belle and Terence. And no balloon biting.

I heard him say something just then, says Richie.

Fucking useless, says Sweezus. And another thing, he's no fun since he got the new teeth. How're you doing anyway?

Good, says Richie. About to have a book of poems published.

No way! says Sweezus.

Yep. Shit, the start bell! Better get back to the team. See ya later.

Richie wheels his way back to Chris Froome.

Dog says BEWARE, reports Richie.

Good man, thanks for the heads up, says his captain and best friend Chris Froome.

.......

Stage Three is now well under way in fine weather, the wind is less blowy.

Team Philosophe tries to catch up to Team Astana.

I swear I saw Surfing-With-Whales, puffs David. He was wearing the Astana colours.

Impossible, pants Vello. If he were here, he'd be riding for us.

But nonetheless, that turquoise backside up ahead looks suspicious.

.....

Fifty five kilometres from the finish in Huy, something bad happens.

A rider clips another, and falls over.

A bunch of riders swerve to avoid him. Some run into a lamp post. They all fall over.

Fabian Cancellara is hurt and so are Simon Gerrans, Tom Dumoulin, Daryl Impey, and others.

The race is stopped, neutralised and restarted.

......

Chris Froome now wears the yellow jersey.

Chris Froome is over the moon and can't keep his mouth shut.

If it wasn't for the Dog's timely warning, says Chris Froome, I might have been in that accident and not ended up wearing yellow.

Crumbs! Shut up! Everyone's listening!

Alberto Contador, Vincenzo Nibali, Tony Martin, Tejay Van Garderen, Nairo Quintana.....

All (except for Alberto) now plot to gain hold of the Dog.