Rest Day : Pau - Balls

The first rest day.

Belle has organised a picnic, in the grounds of the Château de Pau.

She spreads out a large rug. Opens a hamper.

Vello and David have already drunk several glasses of light red Béarn wine.

Terence has opened the Coucougnottes, without Belle's permission.

Farky worries his loose teeth with his claw.

They are waiting for Team Condor to arrive.

Would you like to start now? says Belle. I brought some trinxat.

What is it? asks David. Mmm. Smells like bacon.

Mashed cabbage and potatoes mixed with smoked bacon and fried, says Belle. Speciality of the region.

Sounds good to me, says David.

To a Scotsman, says Vello.

Fois gras, papa? says Belle. Poule à pot? Merveilles?

Vello is just choosing a merveille (a sweet fritter), when Team Condor rocks up.

Hi everyone, says Belle, so glad you've come.

It's a little bit awkward.

I did mean to invite all of you, says Belle.

That's cool, says Sweezus. What's for lunch?

Poule à pot, fois gras, fritters, trinxat, says Belle. And gâteau à la broche for dessert, followed by Coucougnottes du Vert Galant. And we have white Jurançon and red Béarn wines. And sparkling water.

Wicked, says Sweezus, sitting down at a distance from Belle.

Sit down, everyone, says Vello. Gaius, sit here. Have a fritter.

Is that sugar? says Gaius. Sprinkled on top?

Arthur and Pablo are trying the trinxat.

Mmm. Not bad for cabbage.

And the Jurançon. Slurp. Glug. Not bad either. They pour themselves more.

Tell me, says Gaius to Vello, how did you get through the team trials with only the two of you?

Oh, says Vello. A few strings were pulled. We are French icons you know. At least I am.

Everyone, try the chicken! says Belle. Terence, what's that in your mouth?

Nothing, says Terence, quickly swallowing his sixth Coucougnotte.

He's been so naughty, says Belle, to her boyfriend.

I know, says Arne. He drew rude bottoms. You forget I am one of the riders.

Easy to forget, says Belle, when you look exactly like Gaius.

 I do forget what I look like, says Arne. But it's lovely to see you. Sadly I must go home tomorrow.

I wish you would stay, says Belle. Could you override your instructions?

Crackle crackle, says Arne, breaking up temporarily.

Obviously it's not easy to maintain this relationship.....

Sweezus has noticed this fact. He brightens. And also, it seems to be time for the cake.

Time for the gâteau de broche! says Belle.

It's a weird sort of cake. Huge, round, lumpy and drippy, with a hole in the middle.

Cake on a spit, says Belle. Break a hunk off.

Vello declares he has no room left for a hunk. Then he takes one. What the hell. David takes two.

Gaius eyes the box of Coucougnottes de Vert Galant, half open on the grass.

May I try one, before Terence eats the lot?

Certainly. Take two, why don't you.

Gaius takes two. Delicious. What are they exactly?

A roasted almond, covered in dark chocolate, rolled in marzipan flavoured with raspberry, ginger and Armagnac, says Belle. Voted Best Sweet of the Year 2000.

And what is the meaning of the name of these sweets? asks Gaius. I find myself sorely tempted to take a third one.

Belle giggles. You may not want to when you know. Tell him papa.

Coucougnottes are testicles, says Vello. The Vert Galant is king Henry the Fourth, said to have been a hot devil with the ladies. These sweets are his balls.

But Gaius, the old Roman, is not put off having another.