Not A Rational Race

Next morning. One day to go to the start of the Tour.

Vello presents himself to an official.

As you see, says Vello. Here I am, alive. I assume I may now be un-disqualified?

Certainly, says the official. But you have already been un-disqualified. Didn't you know?

Very good, says Vello. How was that accomplished?

Failure to present a death certificate, says the official.

By whom? asks Vello.

By the rider from Team Condor, says the official. You know the one....

I do know, says Vello. Well thank you. I shall do my best to bring honour to the Tour in the forthcoming weeks.

Don't bust a gut, says the official.

.......

Team Saxo Tinkoff is having an extraordinary meeting, after breakfast.

Alberto Contador: What is going on, men?

Peter Sagan: It's about Team Condor. They have a secret weapon

Alberto Contador: This we know.

Roman Kreuziger: Now we have seen it. A dog.

Alberto Contador: But who among us does not have one?

Peter Sagan: This one has special powers.

Alberto Contador: Madre de dios! What can it do?

Roman Kreuziger: It can, if we are to believe the rumours, predict the future.

Alberto Contador: Keep an ear for this hound. All of you. Especially you Michael. As you are an Aussie, they will not suspect you.

Michael Rogers: Rightio.

.......

Gaius has returned to the University, on his borrowed state of the art racer.

He is looking for Dr Roland Geraerts.

He finds him, in the FietsLAB, bending over Schopenhauer's bicycle. Another man is with him, also bending.

Gaius, says Roland, straightening up. This is my associate Dr Arjan Egges, from the Virtual Human Tech Lab.

Fascinating bike, says Arjan. Roland and I are setting it up for a test ride. You're just in time.

He flicks a switch and the bicycle appears .... TO HAVE A VIRTUAL RIDER.

Jumping Jigglers! says Gaius. But isn't that ME?

It looks like you, says Dr Arjan. We used you as a template. Watch this!

The bike with virtual Gaius on it, zooms out of the Fiets LAB and onto the street.

A screen in the FietsLAB, follows its progress. Beep. Beep. Ping. Numbers flash on and off.

See. It's monitoring crowd density, says Roland.

This is better than we hoped for, says Arjan.

Gaius is not so sure. He is watching himself on the screen.

And he doesn't look like a man participating in science.

He looks like a man who is thinking that the universe is not a rational place.